Control (Blood & Bone Enforcers MC)

If she was his mate, it all made sense.

Except for one thing. They didn’t choose their mate. Their animal did. And his lion hadn’t said a word about Tarun being his.

So that must mean she wasn’t.

He didn’t understand the deflation he felt. Slumping down on the stool, he rubbed his forehead, feeling a frown trying to form under his fingers. He shouldn’t be so disappointed that she likely wasn’t his mate. It would complicate things. He’d never be able to convince her to leave, because he wouldn’t truly want her to. He’d want to spend every single moment with her, waking and sleeping.

But he couldn’t deny the fact that he was deeply disappointed. If only his lion said the words. Everything would make sense, and he wouldn’t let anything stop him from telling her she had the Georgie situation wrong, and convincing her that she needed him as much as he needed her.

I didn’t tell you because I wanted you to figure it out on your own.

Luke’s head snapped up at his cat’s words and he straightened on his stool. What are you trying to say?

I’d think it was obvious. You’re right. Tarun’s our mate.

A timeless moment spun out, where it seemed like no one moved, no one spoke—like Luke had no substance, no thoughts, nothing. Like he just was.

Then everything snapped back into focus and he frowned. How long have you known? And why the fuck didn’t you tell me?

I knew right after she showed up at the clubhouse, and I tried to tell you at first. But you kept shutting me down and acting like an idiot. You weren’t going to respond well to it. So I decided to let you figure it out on your own.

You still should have fucking told me.

How would you have reacted before now? Be honest.

Luke frowned, not replying. There was nothing he could say. His lion was right, and they both knew it. Up until then, until the moment he thought she was his mate and then thought she wasn’t—well, he would have tried to fight it. Tried to resist.

It would have been a futile effort. Very few shifters could walk away from their mate. But he still would have tried. Would have called on the boundless supply of control he possessed in his personal life, and attempted to deny what she was to him.

And that would have been a huge mistake. Mostly because he knew he wouldn’t have succeeded, and doing that would have driven an even bigger wedge between himself and Tarun. One he might not have been able to overcome.

He thought it would take a while to accustom himself to the fact that she was his mate. That he’d need time to come to grips with it, to accept it. He’d always wanted to find his mate one day. He’d be a fool not to.

But he thought his life would be on track. That he’d have all his issues resolved, and be in the best possible position to take on a mate and everything that meant.

That his gift would be completely controlled.

None of that was true. He had no control over his life. There was a madman out to take him, and the other Enforcers, out. And because of that, none of his issues were resolved, and that didn’t exactly leave him in the optimum position to take on a mate.

Yet none of that mattered.

Maybe it was because he’d had a taste of thinking she was his mate only to be disappointed when he thought she wasn’t. It’d been a brief moment in time, but for that short span, he grieved her. He felt like she’d been his and he lost her—irrevocably and forever.

Or maybe it was just because she was Tarun. The woman he’d been attracted to, drawn to on a level he hadn’t imagined possible, since the moment she showed up.

Whatever the reason was, he was ready for her. Ready to have her as a mate. Forever and always.

They still faced hurdles. She believed the worst in him right then. Believed that he kissed her like his life depended on it, then went running to another woman not even an hour later. How she hadn’t felt his heart and soul in the kiss enough to know he’d never do that, he didn’t know. But it was a moot point.

He didn’t think she knew they were mates, either. She was as attracted and drawn to him as he was to her, he knew that. She knew it, too. And she was pissed the fuck off at what she perceived as his betrayal. But she might not understand why she was so angry and hurt. She probably thought it was the normal reaction a woman would have for a man she was growing close to.

He didn’t know how to tell her, or even if he should. Maybe she should figure it out on her own. Maybe he should wait until her tiger let her in on it. He didn’t know what the right course of action was.

But he did know he wasn’t going to sit on his ass wondering about it anymore. He might not know what he was going to do in the future, but he knew what he was going to do right then.

He was going to tear the clubhouse apart looking for her. And if for some reason she’d left, he’d follow her. To the ends of the Earth, he’d follow her. Then he was going to talk to her. Make her listen. If he could just get her to listen, she’d hear the truth in his voice when he told her what really went down the night before and that morning.

And then he was going to win her over. He was going to love her so well, so hard—mentally and, hopefully, physically—that when her animal told her what he was to her, what they were to each other, she couldn’t fight it. He was going to make sure when that time came, she accepted the truth, and him, immediately.