Fighting to Win (Rocky River Fighters 4)

Walking into the living room, she sank down into the corner of the couch, hiding a grimace as her leg protested. She looked over in surprise as he sat on the other end of the couch. For whatever reason, she’d expected him to sit on the arm chair, but of course he sat on the couch. It was a bigger model, too small for the space of her living room really, but he was so big that he took up most of it, sitting on his cushion and a fair portion of another.

He was far too close to her, and her skin tightened, her heart racing at his nearness. She tried to breathe evenly, tried to calm her heart, but she could feel his heat seeping into her side from his nearness, and it was muddling her mind and her emotions.

“So what’s going on with Shelby? Tell me and I’ll try to help,” she said softly, kneading her cramping thigh.

Looking at her in surprise, he said, “Nothing’s wrong with her. Why would you think there was?”

“Because you just showed up here out of the blue, and I told you once to come to me if you needed help. I assumed that was why you came. Why are you here, if not for Shelby?”

Glancing at her hand, he ignored her question and asked one of his own. “Are you okay? Hurting very badly?”

“It’s just a bad day. It’s been worse. I can handle it.”

“I’m sure you can,” he replied with a quirk to his lips that quickly faded. “Do you mind me asking what happened? You don’t have to answer if it bothers you.”

“Talking about it doesn’t bother me, not anymore. It’s just an everyday part of my life, and I’ve gone through worse,” she said softly, casting a glance at a framed photo of Kyle. “It happened when I was twelve. I was horseback riding, and my mare stepped into a hole. She stumbled and fell, and my leg was trapped underneath her. It crushed my femur, and broke both my tibia and fibula in multiple places. I’ve had a lot of surgeries, and have seven screws in various places.”

“Shit, Holly, I’m so sorry. That’s horrible.”

“It was pretty awful at the time. But I was lucky. The doctors thought maybe I wouldn’t walk again at all, it was so bad. It took a year and a half of intense rehab to manage it, but I did. I couldn’t walk without the cane for about two years, but now I only need it when I have bad days. Which is more often than I’d like, but I’m just grateful I can walk at all, cane or not.”

“Like I said,” he replied softly, “you’re a very strong woman, Holly. An amazing woman.”

Flushing with pleasure

, she glanced down at her hands, twisting her fingers together. “I’m no better than anyone else who’s overcome physical hardships. Anyone could have done it.”

“Humble, too,” he said with a smile.

“You avoided telling me why you’re here,” she said, wanting to change the subject before she got embarrassed by his praise.

Smile fading, he became serious. “There was an incident in the barn today. It’s where we train, and Kian and I were just beginning to spar when the roof collapsed. No one was hurt,” he rushed out when she gasped in horror. “But it could have had a much different ending if we hadn’t gotten out of the way fast enough.

“And it made me think about how short life is. About how if we want something, we need to go after it, not sit around, hesitating or waiting for the right time. We need to give it everything we’ve got, grab life by the horns, and live.” Shooting her a glance, he shifted his big body around until he was facing her fully. “That’s why I’m here. There’s something I want, Holly, but I was hesitating. I don’t want to do that any longer.”

Searching his bright blue eyes, she swallowed hard and whispered, “And what do you want? Why come here?”

“You,” he replied, eyes intense. “I want you. I’m attracted to you, Holly, and I think you’re attracted to me as well. You’re stunningly beautiful, true, but it’s more than that. And I want to spend time with you, get to know you, see where this leads.”

Stunned, she stared at him in silence, trying to absorb what he was telling her. That was the last thing she expected him to say, but she realized she should have anticipated it. She knew he was attracted to her, knew that it was much more complicated than that. But she’d been so focused on denying it, pushing it aside, that she hadn’t realized he might not be content to follow her lead.

“I told you some of what Shelby went through until I got custody of her,” he continued softly. “And I never thought I’d be able to take this kind of a chance on a woman. Farrah, her mother, had me fooled so thoroughly. I’m supposed to be such a good judge of character, able to tell when someone is genuine or not, but I was so far off the mark with her. I was young, only twenty, but that’s not really an excuse. I still got completely snowed by her, but it wasn’t me who paid the price. It was Shelby. And I didn’t think I could ever take that kind of risk again. With myself, maybe, but not when I have my daughter to think about.

“But I’ve seen you with her. You’re always incredibly kind, and it’s genuine. It practically pours out of you. As beautiful as you are, it’s your kindness I’m attracted to the most. And it’s not just with Shelby. I watched you at the dance, and you shared it with everyone, kids and adults alike. After people talk to you, they glow, like you’ve physically showered them with it. Before you, I thought I couldn’t take the risk. But you’re not a risk. You’re a guarantee, and you’re one hundred percent worth it.”

She stared at him in awe, tears burning her eyes. That was maybe the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said about her, and despite herself, she felt him stamp his name on another small piece of her heart. Taking a shaky breath, she looked around the room, trying to control the urge to shout “YES” while she jumped into his arms. Her eyes landed on one of the photos of Kyle and her heart stopped for a moment.

“That was maybe the nicest thing anyone has said about me,” she whispered, still staring at the photo. “But I’m not sure I can, Ian. I’m sorry, but I don’t think we can go there.”

Glancing over at him, she watched as he followed her gaze to the picture. “Was that your husband?”

“Yes. That was Kyle. And I feel like you think I’m this amazing person, and like you’re putting me on a pedestal. But I can’t measure up to that, and I’ll just end up disappointing you. I put everything I was into loving Kyle, and I’m afraid there just isn’t anything left.”

Ian nodded slowly, and as the silence stretched on, she couldn’t resist stealing a peek at him. His body was relaxed, but his hands were clenched into fists, his face pensive and serious. She waited for him to say something, and when he didn’t, she finally blurted, “I’m so sorry. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear.”

Bringing his eyes to her, he shook his head with a fleeting smile. “There’s nothing to apologize for. You feel what you feel, and you can’t change that.” Hesitating for a second, his eyes flicked to the photo and back to her. “Will you tell me about him? About your life together?”

Shifting her weight on the couch, she thought hard for a moment. Talking about Kyle was a thousand times harder than her leg, but she wanted to make sure he understood what he was trying to go up against. That he understood where she was coming from. Maybe it would soften the blow of her rejection. Besides, it might be nice to talk about her husband. She couldn’t remember the last time she had, if ever since his death. Not having friends around meant she hadn’t really talked to anyone about anything, much less Kyle.