“I’m going for the mac and cheese,” I say, reaching for my glass of wine and taking a sip. “And thank you for working from home today so you could stay with Nolan.”
“No problem. I got caught up on a lot of stuff I can’t get to at the office because people are always talking to me.” She sits down across from me in a modern, camel-colored leather chair.
“So, I have great news. I found Dean.”
I lower my brows. “You mean…?”
“Yes, your husband.”
“Ugh, please don’t call him that, Rue.”
“Well, it’s the truth. But if you’d listened to me four years ago, you could have dodged that bullet.”
“Can you not?” I beg, picking up the wineglass and turning to the side so I can put my feet on the couch. “I promise you, I don’t need any help feeling like a massive idiot for marrying him. It hits me about four seconds after I wake up every morning and is the last thing I think about before I fall asleep.”
“Why?” Rue gives me her bitchiest cringe. “He’s a worthless piece-of-shit deadbeat. Don’t waste even one more tear on him.”
“I wish it were that easy.” I take a big swallow from my glass. “But let’s not get off track. You said you found him? You didn’t even tell me you were looking.”
She shrugs. “I didn’t want you to be disappointed if it didn’t work out. We have a great private investigator at the firm and I put him on it right after Dean split. He found him today when his driver’s license was run through the statewide system in Ohio.”
“Ohio?”
Rue waves a hand. “It doesn’t matter where he is, Indie. All that matters is now we can serve him with divorce papers.”
I dream daily of divorcing Dean. His betrayal hurt like a physical wound at first, but then I got angry. Not only did he screw me over, he did the same to our son. What kind of person would do that when they have a child that needs to be fed and cared for?
I thought divorcing Dean would take time, though, since I have no money and no idea how to find him. Or so I thought.
“How much is that going to cost, though?” I ask my sister.
“I’ll pay the cost of service, and one of the attorneys at the firm said he’ll represent you pro bono.”
My eyes fill with tears. No one judges me as hard as Rue, but no one loves me as hard, either.
“Which one?” I ask, my voice breaking with emotion.
“Tom.”
“Is he the one you slept with?”
Rue gives me a pointed look. “No, Indie. And really, it doesn’t matter which one he is. If Big Bird passed the bar and offered to represent you pro bono, that would be sufficient. All we need is to get you legally unencumbered from him as quickly as possible.”
Dread swirls in my chest. “What if he fights me for custody of Nolan?”
“He can try, but given that Tom can prove child abandonment, he’s unlikely to succeed.”
“Thank you,” I say softly, tears sliding from the corners of my eyes. “I don’t know how I’d get through this without you.”
“I’m always here for you. But seriously, listen to me from now on, at least on the big stuff. No dating for at least a year. You need to focus on yourself for a while.”
“And Nolan.”
“Focusing on Nolan is part of who you are,” Rue says. “You’ve been doing it every day since he was born. Even when you’re exhausted, you come home and give him every bit of energy you have and then some. I’m here to help you care for him so you can also focus on you. Go back to school, start your own business…you can do anything you put your mind to.”
I laugh and finish off the glass of wine. “You’re overhyping me. I’m not sure I can even heat up that mac and cheese, let alone have the energy to hang with Nolan when he wakes up.”
“Dean made you believe you can’t do things on your own. It’s one of the main reasons I hate him.”
I hear the pitter-patter of Nolan’s little feet approaching, and I point at Rue—a silent reminder not to bad-mouth Dean when Nolan can hear. I’m not going to be one of those parents.
“Mama,” Nolan says, climbing into my lap.
I snuggle him close and kiss the top of his head. He only calls me “Mama” on occasion these days, so I soak it up every time. He’s still warm, but I think his fever is definitely dropping.
“Want an ice pop?” I ask him.
“Yes! And Nemo.”
Rue gets up from her chair. “Aunt Rue has met her Nemo quota for today. I’m going to the gym.”
We say bye to Rue before going into the kitchen and getting Nolan a popsicle from the freezer. I also spoon out some leftover mac and cheese into a bowl and put it in the microwave. Maybe he’ll want to watch the movie in bed, and then I can doze off and if I’m lucky, he will, too.