Luckily a huge snout headbutts the back of my hair, distracting the disturbing turn of thought. I turn to see Sugar has come up behind me. She nickers and snorts a big puff of air that blows my hair away from my face. I can’t help laughing in surprise as she noses toward me again, bumping into my cheek.
Holy crap, this is a huge animal. She towers over me and my first instinct is to back away. But when her big, wet tongue slips out to lick my cheek, I’m startled into another laugh.
My hands rise and I’m not sure if I mean to ward her off or pet her. She’s too busy nosing against the other side of my neck and making the decision for me. My fingers come into contact with her wet, snuffling nose. Then her tongue sneaks out again and licks my fingers. I squeal a little and laugh more.
I’m worried for a second that my shrill giggle will scare her off, but nope, she just keeps nosing at me, bumping me with her huge head, sniffing, and licking. I stumble a few times. She’s so big and obviously has no sense of personal boundaries, but I’m finally brave enough to follow Xavier’s example and gently scratch at the short, finer patch of fur between her nose and eyes and touch her mane. She seems to delight in the attention and bucks even more into my touch.
I don’t know how long I’ve spent just getting acquainted with her before Xavier’s pressing a carrot into my hands. Sugar immediately zeroes in on the carrot and there’s no time to really second-guess it before she’s chomping away at the vegetable. Within two bites, the huge teeth I was so freaked out by earlier tug the carrot out of my hand. Her wet horse lips slobber all over my fingers. I can’t help grinning at the feel of it and I go back to scratching at her.
“You’re a silly girl, aren’t you?” I murmur affectionately. “Such a silly girl.”
She finishes chomping the carrot and then goes back to headbutting me and generally trying to get my attention in any way possible
Careful to stand at her left shoulder, I finally loop an arm up as far as I can around her neck and hug her. She seems more than happy to welcome the affection. I marvel at the huge warm animal body tucked so close to mine. I press my ear against her shiny coat.
I had no idea… I mean, I was never one of those little girls who was horse crazy growing up. But I ha
d no idea they were so… well, amazing is the only word I can think of to describe them.
I look to Xavier, only to find him standing with his arms crossed, watching me with an intensity that’s discomfiting. Hot Lips has wandered off and is munching on grass near the fence.
I straighten up and let go of Sugar. Whoa. How did I just let myself get so totally absorbed in her? And how long has Xavier been staring at me like that?
I swallow and give Sugar one last pat. “She’s amazing. A real sweetheart. What’s her story?”
“She’s a mustang like Samson. BLM rounded her up from the wild and I adopted her about a year and a half ago.”
“What?” I exclaim as she lands an especially sloppy lick all the way up my cheek. She was a wild horse? As recently as a couple years ago? I wipe my cheek and look at Xavier to see if he’s messing with me. But he looks completely serious as he steps up and pets her muzzle.
“Did they,” I wave a hand, “tame her or something before you adopted her?”
He actually gives a half roll of his eyes—my statement is apparently that ludicrous. “I’m the only one I’d trust to train any horse on this property. Besides, that’s not what the BLM does. No, she came here just as wild as Samson.” He nods in the direction of the stable and the front pasture beyond it.
Then he looks back at her and his face softens like it did earlier when he was with Lulu. “She just needed someone to show her she didn’t have to be afraid anymore. She was always a sweet girl underneath.” He runs a hand up her long nose, his voice gentling. so that I’m not sure if he’s talking to me anymore, or the horse. “She had to learn how to trust. It took a while for me to break through, didn’t it, girl? But we got there in the end.”
He bows his forehead to her nose like he did with Lulu, doing that strange communing thing where both animal and man are still and quiet for a long moment.
When he speaks again, his voice is still just above a whisper. “But once I did, it was the most beautiful thing. You’re my beautiful girl, aren’t you, sweet Sugar?” Then his voice drops and he starts whispering things to her that I can’t hear at all. She nuzzles into him and makes little delighted horsey noises.
I swallow hard, uncomfortable all of the sudden. Does he look at me the same way he did when he first got Sugar? As another animal he just has to train?
Finally, he steps back. “All right, now that you’ve met everybody, let’s get started on the day’s work. Lulu and Pioneer still need to be let out for the day. Then I want to get started with Samson.”
Samson. The wild one. “You mean training him? So you just start straight off?”
He nods as we start walking back to the barn. I guess it’s obvious, but I don’t know. I thought maybe he’d leave the stallion alone for a day and let him just get used to the paddock.
You know, kind of how he did for me.
I cringe a little at the thought. God. I am not a freaking horse! Thankfully there’s not much time to think about it anymore because we’re soon back in the stable.
Xavier keeps encouraging me to interact with the animals. Pioneer allows me to approach him and touch his shoulder. Hesitantly, I rub down his left side to his flank. He steps and licks his lips and Xavier reminds me to breathe.
Yeah, I try that, but I’m relieved when Xavier takes the huge gelding’s lead and guides him out into the center of three paddocks that branch off from the stable. Except for the fact that Xavier’s also got my lead line in his hand, so, you know, again I get that feeling that I’m just another of the horses he’s letting out of the stable for the day. Because that’s not degrading or anything.
When he goes in to work with Samson, he ties me to a fence post.
“Stay,” he says unnecessarily after looping the rope around the post. He ignores my furious huff and pulls a baseball cap out of his back pocket, which he settles on my head. I guess so I don’t get too much sun? It’s always such a weird mix of caretaking and humiliation with this guy, I don’t know how to make heads or tails of him.