I nod, not knowing how to take in this outsider to the odd bubble that Xavier’s built around me. Seeing another person feels, I don’t know… forbidden.
He strides toward me and extends one of his large, tanned hands in my direction.
I shake it, trying to force my lips up in a semblance of a smile. God, act human, Mel. Have you really forgotten what civilized person etiquette is in such a short time?
Maybe I have. The thing is, I just can’t stop thinking every second—how would Xavier want me to behave around this guy?
Which is disturbing all on its own.
I drop his hand and turn to walk around the house to the pastures. “This way.”
He follows me but like Xavier, his long legs quickly have him at my side. He also seems to know his way around the ranch and doesn’t seem to need my guidance.
“Haven’t seen you around here before.”
I don’t look over at him even though I can feel his curious gaze on me.
“Nope,” I answer without elaboration.
We walk in silence for a few moments, then he’s pressing again. “So, you know Xavier long?”
“A little while. You?” I look over at him. His eyes are very blue. With those eyes, his blond hair, and the whole rugged cowboy thing he’s got going on, I imagine he does well with the ladies out here in the middle of nowhere. Clean him up and put him in a suit and tie and he’s the kind of handsome I would have gone for once upon a time.
But now? I give him the cursory once over like he did me when he first stepped out of the truck. Wide chest, slim hips, lean thighs that are snugly hugged by well-fitting Levis… but nada, I got nothing. Not even an ounce of attraction.
“I’ve known Xavier for maybe five years now. Ever since he retired from active duty.”
Active… like the military? I look up in surprise but don’t know how to get more answers without revealing my ignorance about all things Xavier. Even as I’m dying to pump Tom for info.
But then I remember Holy Hellfire lying out in the pasture in pain. And Xavier, clutching his head. His face knotted in devastation.
God, my brain is such a fucking jumble. I can’t make heads or tails of things. Of what I want.
We pass the stable and I point on ahead. “You can get there faster than me if you hurry. Xavier was really upset. He thought the horse was in a lot of pain.”
Tom nods but doesn’t move. He stares at me hard. “You got a name?”
When I smile this time, it’s genuine but measured because I can’t get my mind off Xavier. “Sure do.” I nod out toward the pasture. “Hurry up.”
Tom tips a non-existent hat toward me. “Ma’am.”
By the time I catch up, Tom is examining the bottom of Holy Hellfire’s back leg. Xavier’s still at his head, all but hugging the horse as he whispers to him and strokes his mane.
“How is he?” My hands knot into fists in fear of the answer.
Seeing Xavier like this, on his knees and so obviously in pain for his horse is almost impossible to stomach. I want to drop to the ground and hold him in my arms, but I don’t know if he would welcome the gesture or brush me off.
Neither of them answers me.
Tom’s evaluation takes about another five minutes. Apparently it’s a fairly open and shut case. When he looks over Xavier’s way, there’s an apologetic sorrow in his face.
No. Oh no.
I glare at the vet, willing him to have another answer for us.
Tom’s eyes flick briefly toward me, then focus back on Xavier. “I’m sorry. You did everything right. He’s just been fighting this too long. With his age, it was bound to—”
“Don’t give me your bullshit spiel.” Xavier interrupts. “Just do it.” His jaw is rigid, and he stares at the ground as he says it.