Punk Love

Then it dawned on me. He was giving me an in to say something. To come clean. To explain to Ryan that he and I were hanging out.

This was our chance to tell him.

My chance to tell him.

…but I couldn’t do it.

“Yo, Lara. You remember Alex, right?” Ryan finally noticed me, swinging his gaze from the dashboard to me with an excited grin. He half-adored, half-hated Alex.

“Vaguely,” I drawled, narrowing my eyes.

Alex snorted out loud, shaking his head. My heart pounded in my chest.

There was a beat of loaded silence. Alex was giving me a few more seconds to say something. Ryan looked between us, wondering why the hell they weren’t moving.

“Are you waiting for a royal invitation?” Ryan frowned at Alex. “Let’s go.”

Alex spat out the window in response. “You bringing your little friend to the picnic on Saturday?” He was still glaring at me, in a look that was low-key threatening.

Ryan pinked all over, all the way down to his neck. At least he had the good sense to be embarrassed about not inviting me.

“I…I don’t even know if I’ll go, so it’s gonna be weird. Inviting Lara and then taking it back.”

That was total bullshit.

He was so going.

Why wasn’t he inviting me?

Because he wants you to himself, I could practically hear Alex’s voice answer in my head. What kind of friend is he, if he doesn’t include you in something you want to be included in just because he sees you meeting other people a threat?

Imaginary Alex made some solid points. I stifled a groan.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I have plans.” I took a sip of my vegan protein shake, swallowing without tasting it. “See you guys around. Enjoy your rehearsal. It was awful to see you again, Alec,” I said casually.

I had the pleasure of seeing Alex’s smug smile collapsing as I got his name wrong, before I turned on my heel and went to the gym.

Check. Mate.

That evening, I was the first one to send Alex a message.

Me: Are you insane? Why did you come to my school today?

Me: Answer me!

Me: Did you tell him?

He answered forty minutes later, even though he was online the whole time, probably watching twin porn or something.

Alex: You told me not to tell him.

Me: Good. This is stupid. I can’t hurt him like this.

Alex: He doesn’t want to invite you because he knows you’ll meet someone you’d actually like there, and that’d kill his already nonexistent chances.

Me: You’re the meanest person I’ve ever met.

Alex: That just tells me you hang out with boring ass people.

Alex: Tell him.

Me: No.

Alex: Very well, Honeypie. I will :D

Friday rolled around.

We finished school at noon on Fridays, which was good, because my mind was anywhere but on schoolwork.

Ryan waited for me after chem, catching up with my step as I stormed through the hallway. Excitedly, he told me that he and his band were invited to warm up this big band from Germany in a few months. That it was a huge deal, that would garner a ton of exposure.

I made obligatory cooing sounds, and even pretended to fangirl a little, but I wasn’t invested in his story.

What if Alex was right? What if Ryan didn’t necessarily want the best for me? What if he wanted the best for himself? And why couldn’t I just tell him I was seeing Alex? We weren’t together. This wasn’t cheating. This wasn’t even breaking his trust.

“Everything okay?” Ryan asked when we were almost by my next class. He stopped dead in his tracks, slapping his face and shaking his head.

“Is this about that picnic Alex mentioned? I promise you, Lara, I was going to tell you about it. I just couldn’t decide if I wanted to go or not. But I’m definitely going. Should I pick you up at, like, two-ish?”

I smiled tightly. “No, Ryan, I’m good.”

Two hours later, and I was a free woman for the rest of the day and the entire weekend.

I entwined my arm around Paulina’s, my best friend from first grade, and skipped toward freedom.

Paulina (Pauly) Nicebottom was talking my ear off about her very normal volleyball player boyfriend, who was going to take her on a very normal date later on tonight, when we strolled leisurely toward the front gates of my high school. She was gushing about Ethan, and rightly so, because he was going to take her to Greece during summer break, along with his family. Then a very tall, very blond, very threatening figure caught my eye. The threatening figure made its way to me.

Alex.

He was slicing through the crowd, cutting through the mass of students pouring out of the gate, his eyes laser-focused on me. Some turned around to do a double take. Everyone knew everyone in my school, and he was definitely an outsider.

Not only was Alex walking onto my school premises unauthorized, but he was also heading straight toward me.