Take Me Again (The Knight Brothers 1)

“It’s Ashley. It’s always been Ashley. Since I was eighteen and fucked up by letting Dad send her away. She’s the only woman who’s ever understood me. She sees me,” he said. “She gets me. She makes me whole.”

A shit-eating grin lifted his brother’s lips as he flopped onto the sofa. “Though I never thought I’d see the day, I can’t deny she’s good for you.”

“But she’s not mine. Not the way I want or need. She’s made it clear her life is in London, and with the prick begging her to stay, who knows what she’ll do.”

“Did you ask her to stay?”

He shook his head, his chest squeezing tight. “I was trying to play the long game. She’s been panicked since we got back from California. So I’ve been trying to win her over. Last night I told her I loved her. Stay with me would have been next.”

But he realized now that the long game might have been his mistake and downfall, because she didn’t know for certain he wanted her here, in New York.

Parker let him talk, think, reason through his feelings, something his middle brother had always been good at. Ethan gave directions. Parker listened and let you come to your own conclusions.

So Sebastian continued to reason with himself. Yeah, he’d told her he’d changed, and he’d proven it with actions, but he hadn’t said he wanted a future. “Fuck!”

“Want to go down there and interrupt? Stake your claim?”

He shook his head. Restraint came at a heavy price, but he knew damn well storming in again would be a mistake. “Ashley would kill me. She needs to figure things out for herself.”

And that meant giving her the time she needed with her ex from London.

No matter how much it was eating Sebastian alive.

He rose to his feet. “I’m going to shower and go to the office for a while. I need to keep busy or I’m going to go insane.”

Parker stood. He walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve seen how she looks at you. Hold on to hope,” he said.

“Thanks.”

Sebastian headed to his apartment, deep in thought. He didn’t miss the irony of his current situation. For so long, everything in life had come easy for him, especially women. A wink, a smile, a few charming words, and they fell into his bed. Now, the one time he desperately wanted something for keeps, he couldn’t just reach out and take it. The ball was in her court, and he had no choice but to wait.

* * *

Ashley watched Sebastian leave, her heart in her throat, waiting for the slam of the door before turning to face her ex. And that’s what he was, her ex-boyfriend, no matter how persistent or obstinate he chose to be.

“Jonathan,” she said, speaking slowly and carefully. “I realize this is awkward, but–”

“Awkward? You’ve been with another man!”

“But not cheating on you. I ended things. I never wanted to hurt you, but I was perfectly clear that we weren’t going to get engaged, that I didn’t love you the way I needed to in order to say yes.”

A muscle throbbed in his temple. She didn’t find it attractive the way she did when Sebastian clenched his jaw and the tiny muscle there ticked and gave away his anger and frustration.

“I seriously thought if we could just see each other again…”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry but it isn’t happening.”

“But you’re coming back to London, yes?”

Her stomach cramped hard at the question.

Without waiting for an answer, he said, “Maybe we could pick up where we left off before I proposed. Take it slower. You could grow to care for me that way. I’ve thought about it and we could be so good together.”

“Oh, Jonathan. No. Even if I come back to London, we’re over.”

“I see…” His voice trailed off as reality set in. “Well, this is quite embarrassing.”

“I’m sorry you made the trip for nothing.” She didn’t want to rub in the fact that she’d been clear all along.

“Wait. What do you mean, if you come back to London?” He picked up on her choice of words earlier. “Your life is there. Your job. Friends. Your apartment. How could you just leave it all behind and not come home?” he asked, truly stunned at the notion. “Is it about him? Sebastian?”

She rubbed her hands over her burning eyes. “I have a life there, yes,” she said, thinking through her words as she spoke them out loud.

But something Jonathan just said kept circling in her brain. How could you just leave it all behind and not come home? he’d asked.

Where was home?

Was it the apartment she’d locked up and walked away from in London that felt colder and emptier in her mind than the one she was standing in now?

Was it the job there that she liked but could do anywhere? There’s always a job here for you. A place here, Ethan had said. Ethan, the only family she’d ever had. He was in New York. He wanted her here.