He shook his head, letting her know it was obviously something he’d thought about before. “Because I’d made my decision to let you go so you could pursue your dreams and live the life you’d planned.”
She tilted her head to the side, wondering if she’d heard him wrong. “But I planned my life with you.” A life, a future, she’d seen it all in vivid color in her mind… until he’d shattered her dreams.
“But before me you’d wanted to go away to college,” he reminded her. “To have time to explore without your brothers always there, and you deserved to have those things. Not to make a choice at seventeen years old that would bind you to me for the rest of your life. I didn’t want you to end up resenting me.” He glanced at their intertwined hands, then up at her face.
She opened her mouth but he cut her off, placing his finger over her lips. “I know you wouldn’t have agreed with me. That’s why I made the choice for you,” he said.
“You had no right to decide for me.” She swallowed over the lump in her throat, a combination of pain and anger, unable to believe that while she’d always thought he’d ended things because he no longer loved her, he’d been looking out for her in his own misguided way. “What about after? Why didn’t you come to me after I came back from school?”
He groaned, the sound resigned. “I broke your heart. I devastated you and I didn’t think you’d give me another chance. You were dating and I thought you needed to do that, too. Then you met Jason and suddenly things were serious.” His thumb brushed over the top of her hand as he paused, deep in thought.
“I told myself it was what I wanted for you, to move on and be happy. I had my feelings for you bottled up so tight I never let myself go there emotionally. But then you walked down that aisle and I really saw you. And realized all I was losing. So when the minister asked if anyone objected, I didn’t think, I reacted.” He met her gaze, and in that moment, he was the same boy she’d fallen in love with. “I followed my heart and I can’t tell you I regret it. I only regret that you were hurt in the process.”
She shook her head, the truth as difficult to hear as it was for her to process. “Like I said, Ryder, you’re crazy.”
“Crazy for you,” he said, leaning forward and sealing his lips over hers.
He caught her off guard, but the heat and warmth of his mouth were familiar and surprisingly welcome. His lips moved over hers, his tongue darting inside as he licked, sucked, and devoured her in a way no man but him ever had. His kiss turned hotter, one that stated his intention to possess and stake his claim.
There was no other way to explain it and nothing she could do but grasp his shoulders and hold on for the ride while enjoying every second. He pushed her against the pillows so he could deepen their connection, and her heart pounded against her chest, desire for this man consuming her and forcing her to come to painful conclusions.
Losing Jason had been difficult. Embarrassing. Painful, even. But losing Ryder when she was younger had hurt even more. She’d always wondered what could have been. What could she have done to change the outcome of their relationship? What could their future have been if things had been different?
She never thought she’d have the chance to find out, but here they were. She lifted her hands to his hair and curled her fingers into the long strands, holding him to her, kissing him back as thoroughly and as deeply as he kissed her, until he lifted his head, breathing heavily.
“We’re good together, Sierra. And we owe it to ourselves to explore it further. I want to be the man to give you everything you want and need and dream of.” He met her gaze. “But it’s up to you. In the meantime, I need a cold shower,” he muttered before turning and walking away.
Leaving her to decide what happened next.
A few seconds later, the sound of the water turning on and running echoed through the pipes in the room. He was in the bathroom naked, droplets cascading over his well-honed body, soap making his muscles slick and wet.
She laid her head against the pillows and groaned in frustration. She could lie here debating what to do for the next two days she had in this hotel suite, a respite from the insanity and chaos that awaited her at home, or she could do what her body told her it wanted. What her heart had wanted since the day he’d ended things between them.