He stepped into his haven. A place where he escaped from everyone else in the house when the noise or company became too much. He wasn’t a loner like Xander. He liked being around friends and family, but to be creative, he also needed quiet.
Cassidy waited as he shut the door behind them. “I love this room,” she murmured. “So masculine but peaceful.”
He nodded in agreement. “I let Chloe decorate but insisted she run all her ideas by me before she purchased anything.”
The black and gray theme could have been morbid, but his sister had good taste. She’d chosen black floor tiles with heavy white grout lines framing them in place. Though dark, she’d insisted they reflected natural light back into the room from the windows, and it helped that the wall behind the bed had a light gray concrete stain to brighten it up, too. Or so his sister had explained.
“I’ll tell her you approve,” he said.
“Please do. Maybe one day I’ll buy my own place and use her to decorate.”
He froze at her comment and didn’t like the emptiness that filled him at the thought of her buying a house of her own.
“Dash?”
At the sound of his name on her lips, he refocused. “Yeah. I’m just getting my thoughts together.” He gestured for her to take a seat on his platform bed.
She kicked off her heels and settled cross-legged on the gray comforter, then patted the mattress for him to join her. He figured this would be easier if he was sitting, too. He removed his shoes and sat, turning so they were face-to-face.
Her silence unnerved him, but he knew she was waiting until he was ready. “I don’t know where to start.”
“How about the beginning,” she suggested in a nonjudgmental tone.
He nodded. “Right. The beginning.” He closed his eyes and mentally traveled back to his late teenage years. “I was seventeen and we’d already put together the beginnings of a band. I went to school with Jagger and Heather’s brother, Billy Cooper. We’d hang out in one of our houses and play cover songs. My house was the biggest, so we had the most room to practice.” He snorted at that. “But I told you when Dad was home, he was an asshole. He didn’t want to be bothered by the noise we made.”
It was her turn to snort. “You mean the music you made.”
He couldn’t help but grin. “I wish I’d had you as my defender back then.”
She smiled. “What about your siblings? Were you all as close back then as you are now?”
He paused in thought. “We were growing up, dealing with our own shit. Linc was already finishing his MBA and getting ready to follow in Dad’s footsteps, joining the family business. Xander had joined the Marines, and Chloe was navigating her early teens. Close came later. Though before Xander took off, I used to be up his ass. I’d sleep on his bedroom floor and drive him crazy.”
She laughed, leaning forward and placing a hand over his. “I see how you land at Xander’s house more than your own. He’s all bark, no bite and loves having you there. Axel’s followed in your footsteps. He’s bonded with Bella.”
“He loves that dog. Did you have one growing up?”
She shook her head. “Gran was allergic.”
“Maybe one day you will.”
She shrugged. “It’s Axel who’s the dog person and you’re changing the subject.” She wagged her finger at him and he grabbed it in one hand. Bringing it to his lips, he nipped the tip, and her gaze jerked to his, eyes dilated. “Now you’re trying to distract me.”
Her perky nipples told him he’d done a good job, but she was right. He needed to face this.
He released his hold. If she still wanted to be with him after she learned about that night, he’d be damned lucky. “We usually ended up hanging out at Billy’s instead. Billy’s dad was the janitor at school, and his job enabled him to put his son in a better school district. The point is, they didn’t have much and their house was in a lower-income area.”
She pursed her lips. “Easier access to drugs,” she finally said.
He shrugged. “With money, I could have gotten anything I wanted, but yeah, the guys who hung out in the town where Billy lived made it easier.”
“Why? You had wealth, friends, a band, talent…”
“A father I hated, the brother I was closest to was in the Marines. I was young, stupid. I thought smoking and drugs made my voice sound better, cooler. Mom didn’t realize what I was doing, and I made sure I came home and went straight to my room. No interacting with either her or Dad if he happened to be home.”
Cassidy listened intently, her warm gaze on his. “What happened?”
He pressed his palms against his burning eyes. “The night Billy … died, I bought coke for the first time and brought it over. His parents weren’t home and we were in the garage, where we practiced. He used it immediately. No idea why I didn’t. When he passed out, he started seizing and frothing at the mouth.”