Just like everyone in here, we didn’t believe we would fail. We thought we were going to come out the other side national heroes. Parades, a president’s address … the highest honor of our careers.
Instead, I was the only one to come home.
I wish I could remember how it all went down so I could prevent it from happening again. What if this is another ambush? What if Trav’s intelligence isn’t correct?
I’m sure Trav has factored in all of these scenarios, but so did we.
I can’t help thinking we’re headed for slaughter, and like last time, I won’t be able to stop it.
“Saint?” Iris says, and I shake out of my negative thoughts. I have to because I can’t go into a job thinking that I’ve lost because that’s when it’ll all go to shit.
“Sorry. I’m getting in my head.”
“You don’t have to do this. You can hang out in the hotel. If it gets too much, Ghost can handle comms on his own.”
It’s true. I’m learning all I can from Ghost, but he’s still faster and more efficient than I am. That will come with more experience, but Iris is right—Ghost doesn’t need me. Trav’s letting me be here as a favor.
“I want to be involved. I want to end this. But …”
“Are you getting your memories back?”
“No. Still the same fuzzy ones that seem to be content running on a loop in my brain.”
“Do we need to talk to Trav?”
“No,” I say quickly. “I need this.”
Iris flattens his lips, and I can tell he’s contemplating telling Trav anyway, but then he reaches for my hand. “At least tell Ghost. So if you need a break, you can step back, and he’ll be prepared for it.”
I nod. “I can do that.”
“The last thing I need to be worried about out there is how you’re doing.”
“This is exactly why Trav didn’t want team members screwing around.”
Iris’s usual relaxed and joking nature is gone. “We’re not just screwing around, though, are we?”
Now is so not the time for this conversation, but I squeeze his hand. “No, we’re not. So do me a favor out there and don’t die? Please?”
“It would be extremely inconvenient for me to do that now when I’ve finally found someone who not only puts up with my bullshit but likes me for it anyway.”
“Likes you in spite of it, you mean.”
Iris holds his heart. “Why do you have to come at me like that?”
For the first time the whole flight, I manage a smile.
Trav is making his way around to each of us, checking in, and as he starts to approach us, I have to fight the urge to revert back to the guy I was when I first joined—the one pretending he was okay. Trav could see right through that.
“How are we holding up over here?” Trav asks while slipping his hand through a strap above Iris’s seat to hold steady with the slight turbulence.
“I’m ready,” Iris says.
“I’m … struggling,” I admit.
Trav clasps my shoulder with his free hand. “That’s understandable. I thought you’d want to be involved, but if it puts any of my team at risk, I need to remove you from the situation.”
This is the moment where I need to make a decision. I need to make the right decision. And as I glance around the cabin, at every face, I realize if I do this and I screw it up, it won’t just be a repeated tragedy. The lives lost could be put on my shoulders to bear.
“I think Ghost should take over one hundred percent of the comms,” I say.
“That’s exactly the kind of team player Mike Bravo wants. Know your limits. Don’t put anyone else in danger.”
I don’t tell him I’m already regretting the decision. “Can I at least be in the room? I need to watch this play out.”
“Just don’t get in Ghost’s way.”
“I’ll be invisible. I promise.”
Trav turns and goes to stand at the front of the plane. “Okay, everyone, listen up.” His booming voice wakes the last couple of guys still napping and gets everyone’s attention.
“We’ll be landing soon, and there’s no time for rest. We need to get in and out as fast as we can.”
“Sounds like Trav’s sex life,” Iris says beside me.
I laugh so loud people look at me weird, and I nudge him to shut the fuck up.
“We’re going to hit the ground running. Iris, Zeus, Decaf, Atlas, Angel, and Proxy, you’re first up. We’ll unload the plane and get straight into the Hawk, where I’ll be dropping you three miles out from the palace. You need to get in position by the time I swing back around and pick up Alphabet, Scout, and Kevlar and help them create a diversion for you to sneak into the guest quarters.”
“What’s the diversion?” I ask.
“Trust me,” Trav says. “Everyone will know when they hear it. And until you do, it’s your job to take out any obstacles silently. We can’t tip anyone off that we’re there. Angel and Proxy, the closest building to the palace is at the entrance to the compound. It’s not the best vantage point, but it’s all we have unless you want to climb a tree.”