“The fact you think you could ever get into heaven shows how deluded you are about your life. You’re unfortunately still with us.” I have to joke because I don’t think the reality has set in yet.
About Iris.
Parsons.
It’s like I’m somehow breathing underwater in this alternate universe. Maybe this is another one of my fucked-up dreams.
“But you … and the others …” His implication isn’t missed. He doesn’t need to say the words are dead for me to know what he means.
“The others, yes. I was the only one …”
“I saw you all get taken down.”
And here it is, the moment I’ve been waiting so long for. The truth about what happened that night.
“Yeah, well, there’s a lot from that night I thought was fact, but they tell me it’s not. I couldn’t remember who was on lookout duty. I didn’t think it was you, but it was the only logical reason why you were missing while the rest of us …”
Parsons winces, like he’s reliving a memory. “I argued with Gillard over who would be the lookout because we both wanted to be in on the action. Eventually, you told me to go. I’d basically only gotten to my post when the Muharib came out of nowhere. I couldn’t do anything but watch it all go down. If I’d known … If I knew you were still alive, I wouldn’t have run. We were outnumbered, and I thought there was no way. I had to lie low to survive.”
I can’t say I would’ve done the same thing if I was in his position, but I can’t blame him for his actions either. He’s alive because of what he did. “You did what you had to. Even the guys who pulled me out of there thought I was dead.”
“GenNex trained us for that shit, but in that moment, without the rest of you, I had no idea what to do. I went from village to village trying to get home, but we were too far out for any modern technology. I couldn’t call anyone, I couldn’t get to a major city, and the Muharib were always on my tail. The villagers either ratted me out, or I was being tracked. They finally captured me and took me to the palace. A ‘gift’ to the president. I thought they were going to use me for ransom or to get the US to the negotiating table. Maybe kill me and post videos of it around the world. Instead, they let me rot in that hole for months, feeding me just enough to keep me alive. I was too weak to fight my way out.”
“Hey, you’re here now. You’re safe. And Farouk is dead.”
“He is?” Parsons looks so relieved that I don’t care to think about what Sabri Farouk has put him through these last few months.
“That’s what my team was doing here. He was the mission. You were a happy accident.”
Parsons smiles. “Hashtag things your mom said to you as a child.”
I burst out laughing. “Wow. At least when they held you captive, they couldn’t kill your terrible sense of humor.”
“Nothing could ever kill that. It’s like a cockroach. It would survive nuclear war.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
I stare at my old friend, thankful he’s here but still not accepting it. He’s here, and Iris isn’t.
What I remember, what my brain has been telling me about the night we were ambushed … it was so deep in confusion, I had no idea what really happened, but as if unlocking something in my brain, I can see it clearly now. Parsons walking away from us that night to be the lookout.
I have no doubt that if Parsons had stayed and checked on us, he would be dead too.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“What are you sorry for?”
“For not … coming back? For not finding you? I … I was told so many conflicting things, and I couldn’t remember anything from that night, and—”
“You couldn’t have known. Just like I didn’t know you were still alive.” Parsons glances down at a scar running down my arm. “How did you survive?”
There’s only one answer to that. “By the skin of my teeth.” I lift my shirt to show off some of my other scars.
“Ugh, put your abs away. You know they do nothing for me.” That’s such a Parsons thing to say.
“You’re just jealous they’re better than yours now,” I quip.
“Fuck you. I’m not jealous.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m a taken man now.” Only, I might not be. Not if Iris doesn’t come out of this.
My gaze darts to where they took him away. Still nothing. It’s been hours, and while talking to Parsons has been a nice break from constant worry, I don’t know how much longer I can take.
“You …” Parsons says. “Have a boyfriend? The man who’s married to the job has … settled down?”