First Love Only Love (The Life 2)

“Nope, we have to go call Lance.” Rosa dragged Anna away, leaving me standing there with ice cream dripping down my hand.

I didn’t know what to do. If I go to her now, what would happen? I think it’s the suddenness of the situation, seeing her like that without any forewarning. Or it could be the result of seeing something so beautiful come to life right before my eyes.

I went back to that door when I heard the song begin to play from the beginning again. She still wasn’t aware of my presence, but I couldn’t find it in me to feel guilt. This time I sat in the little space left between the slightly open door and watched her in silence.

She looked… free, happy, so damn happy that I swore I’d do whatever it takes to keep her feeling the way she is right now as much as I could. I was so engrossed in her that I didn’t realize that she’d noticed my presence halfway through the song and was just standing there watching me.

I got up slowly from the floor, put the ice cream down on the nearest flat surface, and walked over to her. I didn’t ask; I didn’t make a big fuss out of it, just took her in my arms and moved to the beautiful melody. I could feel my heart, heavy yet light, full, yet afraid. Every feeling was new, every sense heightened.

We didn’t speak; I just looked down at her as she looked up at me. When I started singing the song in Pinyin along with Henry, she started to cry and tore my heart to shreds.

GABRIEL

I didn’t quite know what to do with my hands when our dance finally came to an end, so I left them resting gently on the curve of her ass. “Don’t ever dance with anyone else like that.” My head cleared after I said the words, but it was too late to take them back.

Her eyes were still clouded, so maybe she missed the words and the meaning behind them. Feeling boyish after that little faux pas, I distracted her with the ice cream. “This probably isn’t as good now as it was when I bought it.” It was pretty much a melted blob in a soggy waffle cone, but she didn’t seem to care.

Thank goodness I’d had the foresight to have the cone turned upside down in a cup which had made it easier to drive with the thing. She acted like I’d given her gold. “For me? Thank you.”

“I wasn’t sure what flavor you’d like, but you look like a strawberry girl to me.” What the hell are these things that keep popping into my head and right out of my mouth?

She’d zapped me with the dance; that’s the only explanation I could find for my out-of-character behavior. She licked the ice cream like a five-year-old with a look of such pleasure on her face. I got another one of those twinges in my gut. “Ahem!” I cleared my throat and looked away from the spectacle before trying to make a hasty retreat.

I needed to lock myself away somewhere and think with a clear head. “Why are you back so soon?” She caught me at the door with her question.

“Oh, my uncle canceled.” Now that I was no longer looking directly at her, I was able to think a little more clearly and remembered what I wanted to ask her. “Didn’t you say you wanted to talk to your dad? Why don’t you go see him tomorrow after he gets home from work?”

She didn’t jump for joy, but she did look relieved. “Good, that’s good; I’ll call him and let him know… or maybe….”

“Maybe what?”

“Maybe we could meet somewhere else?”

No doubt she was thinking about Becky and Victoria being there. No way was I going to miss this opportunity; those two are the very reason I’m giving in to letting her see her dad at this point.

“I’ll be there with you; no need to worry.”

I’m not sure if the smile of relief that graced her face was a good thing or not. There are a lot of variables to this situation that hadn’t been planned for, or had I just been kidding myself all this time? Should I have known from the start? From my initial reaction to her that first day?

She’s making me start to want things. I never want. The strongest of men are those who want nothing; they’re also the most dangerous. Without want, there’s nothing to stand in the way of my life’s goals, my only goal. But this one is doing her utmost best to disrupt everything I’d been working towards these past few years.

As we walked up the stairs together, her trying to catch the leaking ice cream with her tongue before it escaped, I convinced myself that nothing had changed. I’m not that weak. I’m just easily susceptible to beautiful things because they’re so lacking in the world.