First Love Only Love (The Life 2)

I warned her months ago that Felix didn’t seem as focused as before. He hardly paid any attention to me or mom, and he was always busy where before he never turned us away. I told her to do something, but apparently, she hadn’t, and now everything was coming apart at the seams.

“You made me go to that school; you said I’d meet the right people there, now look at what’s happening.”

“You wanted to go there, remember? Ever since the first party you attended here and saw all of Gia’s nice things, remember? You chose her life to live just as much as I chose her mother’s, and don’t you forget it.”

I slapped her across the face and ordered her from my room. I know she dare not retaliate because of all the shit I have on her. “Wait, did you say Gia is coming here?”

“Yes!” She rubbed her cheek, looking for attention.

“Is she coming alone?”

“I don’t think so that Russo kid….”

“Give me your credit card.” I held out my hand, letting her know I meant business.

“I don’t think we should be spending right now, what with everything that’s going on.”

“Give it to me.” I raised my hand as if to smack her again, and she cowered and scurried away, coming back minutes later with the card. “I’m going shopping; you’re not invited. I don’t fancy spending another night alone in a precinct. Who knows who they’d call next to come to get me.

“Where’re you going?”

“I said shopping.” I pulled on the Burberry jacket that I’d been so proud of before seeing Gia in her new designer wear. “Gabriel will be here for dinner, and I have to look my best. Don’t look at me like that. I’m sure if he got to know the real me, he’d prefer me to her. She’s probably filled his head with lies. Once he gets here this evening, I’ll find a chance to talk to him and set the record straight.”

That thought made me feel much better and helped to make the image of the two of them in each other’s arms a little more bearable for now.

GIANNA

I’m extremely nervous to the point I want to back out of going back home this soon. It may have only been days since I left, but it feels like ten lifetimes had already passed for all that has happened since then. I’m not going to lie; part of me wants the three of them to see me looking the way I do now; I guess it’s only natural to feel that way.

Part of me is genuinely worried about my dad. I guess it’s not that easy separating the bad from the good; I still recall the way things were in the beginning, and for that reason, I can’t cut all ties completely, though my respect level for him is pretty low.

And then there’s this other part of me, the part that remembers the trauma of living under their shadow, of not being heard or believed when it mattered, of being replaced in my own home, having my life completely taken over. That part still feels fear at the thought of facing my tormentors.

I had to keep gripping one hand with the other to keep them from shaking. The only thing stopping me from running and hiding like a toddler is Gabriel’s behavior. He seems totally unbothered, like he has everything under control, and once again, I’m amazed at how much trust I’d come to have in him in such a short space of time.

I haven’t had that feeling in a long time. The feeling of having someone else there to catch me if I fall. The feeling that I mattered to someone. But what makes it even more special is who that someone is. Before last night, before our shared dance, I’d still been a bit wary of Gabriel.

Not in the sense that I think he would harm me; I never felt that. But he always seemed so cold, just as he was with everyone else. That reputation preceded him long before we met and is well warranted. But the boy who held me last night, who danced with me as if gliding across water, doesn’t have a cold bone in his body.

That boy’s heart shone through his eyes, and for just a little while, it shone for me. I will never forget that. Never forget how it felt the first time I felt my heart beat out of time. But it would be even more impossible to forget the first time I fell in love.

All day, I’ve been thinking about it and trying to hide it. But now that it was almost time to leave to see dad, I was dreading anything happening to mar this joy I’m feeling inside. You know that feeling when you’re enjoying something fun and then recall something ominous waiting in the wings that wipes the joy completely from you? That’s the one I’m having now.