First Love Only Love (The Life 2)

Occasionally, I’d pay attention to what was going on between them, always there to lend a helping hand to my daughter when she needed it, but otherwise, I’d left her to Victoria while I worked on my husband. Now she had to go and run crying to that boy with the look of hell in his eyes and turn my life upside down.

Obviously, I wasn’t hard enough on her back then, or this would never have happened. Victoria was right in that regard. It’s not too late. When I get back home, I’ll be sure to make up for my oversight. If she thought she had it bad before, she’d wish for those days again. But I must get out of here first.

I have no idea what’s going on out there. What they could be telling Felix, all the lies. And Victoria, how is she handling herself? I hope she doesn’t slip up and show her true colors. I can work with what’s happened so far; her change in attitude since she’d been expelled. But if she crosses the line while I’m not there, Felix might grow suspicious.

That, along with everything that has been happening here of late, might prove too much for him to ignore. These thoughts are killing me as there’s nothing I can do locked away in here. “Hey, I need to make a phone call.” The longer I stayed in here with no word from the outside world, the more agitated I grew.

The last person I’d seen was that boy, and that was days ago. His words playing over in my head again and again wasn’t helping the rising fear that kept growing inside me. Each time I come up with a plan to get out of this mess, his words come back to haunt me. What did he mean by he knew I’d done worse? How could he possibly know that? And which of my past infractions was he hinting at?

The not knowing is the worst part of this whole ordeal. Every time I think of what he could mean, I feel strangled, suffocated as if something is nipping at my heels. There’s no way that kid could outsmart me; what does he know? A little snot-nosed brat raised in the lap of luxury.

I came from the streets, was raised on hardship and neglect. Those two things prepared me for a world he can’t begin to imagine. When it comes to scheming and plotting, I’ll put myself up there with the best. Haven’t I lived the last twelve years as proof of that? No way am I going to lose to him and especially not to the daughter of that smarmy bitch who thought she was better than everyone else.

I felt a slight pang of guilt at the thought and tried to squash it, but it wasn’t as easy as in the past. Maybe it’s because of all the reminders lately, all the things that have gone wrong. But now, when I think of Adrienne, I no longer find it easy to outrun my own thoughts, the things I’d put in place to help me deal with the truth of what I’d done.

I’d had to come up with an alternate truth long ago, for me and Victoria both. It’s a story I’d read to us both repeatedly like a fable each night until it stuck in our heads, erasing the real for the made-up. But now, this damn cell seems to be stripping away all my defenses. Now at night, I see her face, as if taunting me, jeering at me. As if she thinks her daughter and that boy are somehow going to discover the truth.

I need to get out of here; I need to find that housekeeper. I shouldn’t have given up, even though a lot of time had gone by. I should’ve taken care of her from the start, but it would’ve been too risky back then, then by the time I made up my mind to handle her once and for all, she just up and disappeared.

I’d used the same excuse to get rid of her from the house as I’d used to oust Adrienne’s family, which just goes to show that it doesn’t matter how much money and class you have; you’re no better than a lowly servant. Yes, I’d won against all of them. There’s nothing stopping me from winning again.

My renewed thoughts brought me a semblance of relief as I sat down on the musty moth-eaten cot. No more negative thoughts; think only positive, and things will soon go back to normal. I won’t think about the boy knowing about Jimmy, or Victoria being expelled from her prestigious school where all her future prospects lay, or even my own cases. Everything can be taken care of with money, and Felix has plenty.