Phillip kissed the back of David’s hand. “Because I love you. Because I miss you. Because I lost her, and I don’t want to lose you too.”
David swallowed thickly, the words stuck in his throat again. This time, though, he forced them out. “Everything I said. Everything I did. That day. When I left. I—”
“It’s okay. David, it’s—”
He shook his head furiously. “No. It’s not. It was never okay. No one deserves to hear something like that. Especially you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? I never meant it. I never meant any of it.”
Phillip smiled that funny little smile, though it was brittle. “I know.”
And David believed him. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay. Um. I love you too. So.”
“You better.”
Their eyes were starting to droop.
Then, “Hey, Phillip?”
“Yeah?”
“Why’d you keep it like that?”
“Keep what?”
“The ring. Why’d you wear it around your neck?”
Phillip opened his eyes again. “Because it hurt to see it sometimes. On my finger. To remember… you know. But I also knew that one day, we’d find our way again. I put it on the chain and wore it around my neck. I could always feel it against my chest. Even when I’d forget about it, somehow I always felt it.”
“Oh. I took my ring off for the first time earlier tonight.”
“Not once when you were gone?”
“Not once.”
“Can you…?”
“Can I what?”
“Can you put mine on me again?”
“You want that?”
“Yes. Almost more than anything.”
Almost. Because they both knew what they did want more than anything.
But this was a start.
And so David opened his hand where Phillip’s ring sat. The chain had dented his skin with a strange little pattern. He fumbled with it until he slid the ring off the chain. And in the dark, he slid the ring back on his husband’s finger where it belonged.
Something settled in his heart.
“You need to go back to speak to someone,” Phillip said quietly. “I don’t care if it’s a therapist or a group or what. You can go alone. Or I can go with you. But you have to, David. You have to. You need help. You can’t go on like this. You can’t. It’s killing you. And I need you to be strong. For me. But mostly for her. Both of us have to be. Because if she’s still out there, she’s going to need us to be the best that we can be. It’s the only way. Can you do that? Can you do that for me? For her? I can’t lose you too. I can’t. I just can’t. I haven’t gotten my fill of you yet.”
“Yeah,” David said. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that. I promise. I swear. I’ll do that. Anything you want. Can I come home now? Please? Phillip? Can I please come home now?”