Once I was sure I wouldn’t stab anyone in the thigh with my erection, I turned and glared at Helena, who watched me with undisguised amusement, a red riding crop in one hand, slapping it against the other. She was dressed for her rodeo dominatrix routine, complete with these killer black thigh boots that zipped up the sides and had spurs and sparkly fringe. She gave me a quick once-over before her eyes landed on my neck. “Paul? Darling?”
“Yes?”
“You seem to have a hickey.”
I blushed, lifting my hand to cover the spot. “That’s not a hickey,” I told her. “I burned myself on my hair curler trying to curl my neck hairs before we came out.”
“It’s a hickey,” Vince assured her. “I gave it to him.”
She eyed him. “Did you now? Impressive, considering I don’t think Paul’s ever had a hickey in his life. Disrupts his perfectly ordered world. My, oh my. The tongues shall be wagging at work on Monday.”
Showing up to work on Monday with a hickey on my neck was not the best idea in the world, until I thought about that slut Tad seeing it. Then it felt like a badge of honor and I wanted Vince to give them to me all over my face until it looked like I had been beaten by tiny fists.
“You boys taking off soon?” she asked with a knowing look.
“We’re getting out of here now,” Vince said, stepping away from the wall and grabbing my hand. “I still have to give Paul his birthday present.”
“Is that what they call it nowadays?” Helena asked. “Hopefully your present is big and wrapped.”
“Are you really giving me a safe-sex lecture disguised as innuendo?” I asked incredulously.
“Aren’t I fabulous?” She reached out and rubbed the riding crop against my face, then dragged it along Vince’s. “I just want to make sure my baby dolls are playing it safe. Did you know that, if need be, you could slice open a sandwich baggie to use as a dental dam?”
I gaped at her. “Please don’t ever say anything like that to me ever again.”
“Do you like to get rimmed, Vince?”
“Please don’t answer that question in public,” I begged him.
“You know, for someone who was just rutting against a wall, you are somewhat of a prude, sugar.”
“Sometimes,” Vince said with a shrug. “Depends on who is doing it.” Then he gave me a meaningful glance that could not be interpreted in any other way other than he would be totally okay if I tongued his butt. When one receives such a visual cue, one either runs with it or opens and closes ones mouth like a fish dying on dry land. Guess which one I did.
He leaned in and kissed me with his filthy, filthy mouth. “I’m going to go find Darren and say good-bye,” he said. “Be right back.”
Helena and I watched him go because it was such an awesome view. “Baby doll, I do believe you’re going to get plowed like a field around planting time,” she observed succinctly. “Gonna get seeded, that’s for damn sure.”
“Farming metaphors are not attractive,” I snapped at her.
“Don’t be jealous of my wit.”
“I don’t think jealous is the right word.”
“You okay, sugar?”
“Yes. No. Fuck! I don’t know!” Now that Vince was out of my sight, I was starting to panic a bit. “We’re about to go have sex!”
Helena grinned at me. “Usually that’s a cause for celebration. Or, at the very least, a modicum of happiness.”
“What if he wants to do it with the lights on?” I asked her, the scenarios turning horrifically in my mind. “With my shirt off?”
“Pretty sure that’s what sex is.”
“Have you seen my naked body?”
“A few times.”
“And have you seen his? Wait, don’t answer that.”