“You shut your face! We do and we will. So, since we will be using the flowers, and that is nonnegotiable, we can say that we are there to deliver the flowers to the First Lady.”
“Won’t they think we’re like paparazzi or something?”
“Well, you, maybe, but that’s why I’ll be the one asking.”
“Wait. Why would they think I was paparazzi and not you? I feel like I should be offended.”
“You’re thinking too much about it,” he said, patting my arm. “I was born to act. You’ll just look more believable if you stood off to the side away from me like a scene extra.”
“Hey, I can act! I was in a play once. I was the best thing about the whole show.”
“I know. You were eight. It was about the four food groups. You played a block of cheese and had to sing a song about calcium. Your mom spent four weeks on the costume and it made you look like you were an orange dice. You cried after the first show because you had to pee so bad and they couldn’t figure out how to get you out of your cheesy prison.”
I smiled, remembering. “I brought the house down with my last line, though. ‘Give me dairy or give me osteoporosis!’ It was my greatest role.”
“And that’s why you won’t be playing the role of flower-delivery guy,” he said. “You can be Stand Off In The Corner guy.”
“Fine, but what about the Secret Service?”
“The what now?”
“The Secret Service. Won’t they be guarding the First Lady’s room?”
“I don’t think we really understand how local politics work.”
I shrugged. “I just go into the voting booth and vote for the Democrats. If there is more than one, I go for the one whose name I like better. That was really hard once when there was one guy named Diego Valdez and the other one was Rocco Cordova.”
Sandy paused for a moment. “You went with Rocco, didn’t you?”
I grinned. “Yeah, only because I made up a song that got stuck in my head. ‘Hey, it’s Rocco! Sucking my cock-o!’”
“How are we not famous?” he asked, seriously baffled.
“The world isn’t ready for us.”
“So, Secret Service? No Secret Service?”
I shrugged. “I have a feeling we’re going to wing it once we get inside. The best thing I can think is that if s
omeone pulls a gun on us, we should probably run.”
“I’m pretty sure we’re going to jail today,” Sandy said. “It’s a good thing you’re in love with the mayor’s son. Hopefully that means we can get out quicker.”
“I really wish you’d stop using that word,” I said with a scowl. “It’s like you’re rubbing it in now.”
“What do you think sounds better? Paul Taylor or Vince Auster? Eh, now that I say it out loud, Paul Taylor makes it sound like you own a big-and-tall clothing store for single women above the age of fifty. Vince Auster sounds much more refined. He should get your name.”
“Duly noted,” I ground out.
He ignored me. “We doing this?”
“It’s go time,” I said, only because I always wanted to say something like that.
“Hands in, then,” he barked at me. He held his hand out and I put mine on top of his. “The usual on three! Ready! One! Two! Three!”
“Rock out with our cocks out!” we shouted at each other.
The game was on.