I didn’t mean to. Honestly. I didn’t even realize my fist was cocked back behind my head until it was too late. My arm shot forward and my knuckles collided with his lips and I remember thinking this was probably not my best idea while his head snapped back. And as much as I’m sure it hurt him, holy fuck, the pain that shot through my hand was wicked.
“Son of a bitch!” I howled, holding my hand, sure it was going to fall off.
“You just punched me!” Darren said, covering his mouth with his hand.
“Is your face made of metal? Are you the fucking Terminator? Did Skynet take over and I didn’t know about it? All my bones are broken because of your face!” My hand felt like it was on fire, and I was pretty sure that bone chips were breaking off into my bloodstream and working their way up to my brain where they would become lodged, eventually leading to my death.
“What the hell, Paul?” Vince said angrily. “Why did you hit him?” He had his hands curled at his sides like he was getting ready to take me on as well. I wondered if I still had fight left in my left hand, because my right was useless.
“I saw you,” I said, all rational reason and thought pretty much done for the day. “Through the window! He was all up on your nut sac and he wants to bone you and you’ve been Freddie Prinze Junioring me this whole time, haven’t you!”
“You want to bone me?” Vince asked Darren, a slightly disgusted look on his face. “Dude.”
“What?” Darren shouted. “No, I don’t want to fucking bone you! That’s gross!”
Now I was offended for Vince. And myself, since that reflected on my taste. “He’s not gross!” I yelled back, stepping in between the two of them, protecting Vince from Darren’s dangerous libido. “He’s pretty fucking awesome and you can’t have him! He’s mine and you need to stay the fuck away.”
“Paul,” Darren said, “Vince is my brother.”
“I don’t fucking care if he’s your mom, you still can’t fuck him, becau—Wait. What?”
“Vince is my brother,” he said again, and it made less sense the second time. He looked over my shoulder at Vince. “And I do not want to bone you. You’re not that hot.”
“Thank God,” Vince sighed. “I thought you wanted to have sex with me and I didn’t know how to tell you that incest is not something that turns me on. Well, twins, maybe.”
“Twins turn you on?” I asked him, shocked. “That’s… ew.” But inwardly I cursed that I did not have a twin right at that moment. Not that I would have done anything with said twin. That would be wrong. Maybe.
He shrugged. “One of those things. Kind of like your box of toys hiding under your bed.”
“Yeah, but dildos aren’t related! And how the fuck are you brothers? I’ve never heard that before. Anytime you were mentioned, the news said you were the only child.”
Darren smiled, but there was no humor in it. “Yeah, well, you probably wouldn’t have heard that, would you? I’m the deep, dark secret.”
“I am so confused,” I said. Today was just another day in the weirdest week in the history of all weeks.
“Vince’s dad is my dad.”
“Okay?
“His mom is not my mom.”
“But… not his mom?”
Darren shook his head.
I thought on it. “And how old are you?”
“Twenty-six.”
“And Vince is twenty-eight. So… oh. Oh shit.”
“You got it?”
I looked at Vince. “Your dad cheated on your mom?” I sounded aghast. And she stayed with him? And she sided with him over her own son? Suddenly, all the goodwill that I had built up toward Lori Taylor collapsed. I was once again angry with a dying woman. I hated the feeling, but I think I might have hated her just a little bit more. I tried to keep from showing it on my face. This wasn’t supposed to be about me. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.
He smiled tiredly at me before it faded. “What are you doing here, Paul?”
“I’m pretty sure I came to get you back, but now I don’t even know if you went anywhere? Did you? Or, if you did, if I had any right to come after you. Did I?” I sounded idiotic, but I couldn’t stop it.