In those moments that followed, I barely remembered what Charlie had said at all.
Chapter 2: Teenagers are Terrifying Creatures Who Exist to Cause Chaos
I YAWNED as I came into the kitchen early Monday morning, my skinny tie loose at my throat. I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep the night before, nervous about my first day at Phoenix House. I didn’t do very well with starting new anything, but today was a pretty big deal for me.
Sanford Stewart was not a morning person. He’d told me he was a creature of the night and that he shouldn’t be seen in the early morning light unless it was by someone he was kicking out from the night before. Which is why it was so surprising he was already in the kitchen, dressed for work and whistling cheerfully as he poured me a cup of coffee. The radio was on, playing NPR. I wasn’t too fond of the news these days.
“Good morning!” he trilled far too loudly.
r /> “Blargh,” I told him as I slumped into a chair at the table.
“Indeed.” He poured a terrible amount of creamer into the coffee. He knew me so well. He turned and set the mug in front of me, as well as a small paper sack that I hadn’t seen him carrying. “There,” he said, sounding pleased with himself. “You missed Hot Jogger Guy again this morning.”
Ah, yes. Hot Jogger Guy, Sandy’s current obsession, much to Darren’s consternation. Some random dude who jogged by our house almost every morning wearing nothing but tiny shorts and running shoes. If asked, Sandy wouldn’t be able to describe him from the neck up, mostly because he was focused on the neck down and the way his ass and junk bounced in his shorts. I hadn’t seen him yet because he always came way too early.
I poked the sack before going for the coffee. “What’s that?”
“Your lunch,” he said, still standing above me expectantly.
I turned slowly to look up at him. “My what?”
He grinned. “I packed you a lunch for your first day of work.”
I groaned. “Why?”
“Because it’s a nice thing to do,” he explained patiently. “And because I woke up really early. Jet lag.”
I took a sip of coffee. It tasted like getting punched in the face with hazelnut. It was perfect. “You were in Vegas. You took a car.”
He shrugged and went back to the counter. “It’s the thought that counts. Say thank you, Corey.”
“Thank you, Corey.”
He ignored my morning snark. “I’m just so thrilled. I imagine this is what having kids is like, and being proud and such. Not that I’ll ever really know that about children because they are terrifying, and I won’t have them in my house unless I’m forced to.”
I wasn’t awake enough for this. “I’m glad you’re using me as a proxy, then.”
“Exactly. I’m pleased we’re on the same page. I made you a peanut butter sandwich with bananas in it. I don’t know why. Just go with it. And if you throw it away because it sounds disgusting, don’t tell me. My feelings will be hurt.”
I grimaced at the lunch bag. A sandwich with bananas on it was most likely an affront to god.
“There’s also carrot sticks,” he said, as if he’d been replaced by a weird queer Mary Poppins. “I don’t know where they came from. They’re probably Dare’s. But since I banished him from this house for two days, as I didn’t want the spark to die after being around each other twenty-four seven, you can have them.”
“So that wasn’t him grunting like a poodle giving birth in your room last night?” I asked innocently.
Sandy tossed a glare over his shoulder. “I was watching Animal Planet.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And even if he was, it’s not my fault that he can’t stand to be away from me for longer than a few days. He can be needy, in case you didn’t know.”
“Riiiight. So you weren’t talking to him on the phone last night when I was brushing my teeth, all but demanding he come over because you, and I quote, ‘needed to grind up all on that shit’?”
Sandy sniffed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I bet you don’t.” I thought longingly about the day when I could afford my own place. I wouldn’t have to hear Animal Planet ever again. Sandy and Darren were attractive people, but getting erections because of the sounds they made wasn’t something I ever wished for. I told Sandy this once. The look on his face had been worth it.
Sandy filled his own mug with coffee and brought it over to the table, then sat in the chair opposite me. I smiled sleepily at him. It was good to have him home.