He ignored me. “I used to help the newbies. Boys who couldn’t afford their own or couldn’t buy anything for fear of being outed. These days you can get pretty much anything on the internet, but it didn’t used to be that way. I amassed a collection over the years in case it was needed.”
“Jesus,” I said. “You are literally the most perfect man who has ever existed.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he said.
“No, seriously. Leave Robert. Run away with me. We can build a life together far from here.”
Charlie laughed. “Boy, you wouldn’t know what to do with me if you had me.”
“And Robert does?”
He looked back at me again, eyes twinkling. “You really want me to answer that?”
“Nope,” I said hastily. “Sure don’t. I rescind the offer and will allow you to continue on as you are. It’s bad enough that Vince is probably trying to get Paul pregnant in your living room right now.”
“They better not stain my couch,” he said. He pushed a few of the hangers aside. “So, skin? No skin?”
I frowned. “This isn’t going to be bad, is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, I’m not into leather. None of us are.”
“Obviously.”
I felt like I was being insulted, but I couldn’t quite figure out how. “Isn’t that appropriating something that doesn’t belong to us? I mean, we’re going to stick out no matter what, but it feels off.”
“Newbies have to start somewhere,” Charlie said. “And I know you. You’re not the type who would mock something like this. Even if you don’t understand the lifestyle, you at least respect those who’re in it. You’ll be with me, so you won’t get any shit over it. But regardless, I’m not going to make you wear something you don’t want to.” He paused as he looked into his closet. “And it’s also going to depend on who you are. Corey or Kori.”
“They make leather clothes for women?”
“Of course they do. While the scene isn’t as big in Tucson, there’s a pretty big community for women in leather. When I was first starting out, Vaguyna took me to the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. I learned more from an old dyke there than any man has ever taught me. She saw how nervous I was and decided she was going to teach me all she knew. We remained friends until she passed in the late nineties. She was good to me.” He turned around. “I don’t have much leather for women in here, but I’m sure I could put something together. It’s up to you, though. Paul was worried too, but I think Vince’s reaction put that to rest. Vince is just….”
“Happy for being here,” I said.
Charlie shook his head. “God love him. But they’re not you. And you shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do. Love the hair, by the way.”
I flushed. “Thanks. It’s a change, but it’s growing on me.”
“Whatever you want, Corey. Hell, you don’t even have to go if you don’t want to. I know it feels like I’m meddling, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I respect you and know you’re smart enough to decide what you want on your own. You may need a kick in the ass every now and then like the others, but we all do.”
I thought hard. It was more difficult than I expected. I tried to find the words to tell him that I’d spent so long pretending to be something I wasn’t, and even when I did start to learn, there were days it still felt farcical. Like I was a fraud. When we’d dressed up and gone undercover to follow Darren on the date he’d had after being won at auction, I’d worn a terrible peach suit, but it’d been an act. This felt more important. I couldn’t decide if there was a difference.
Charlie walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders. “Tell you what, kiddo. You’ve got those black pants, right? The jeans? You know the ones I mean. Tight, and make your ass look fantastic.”
“You staring at my ass, old man?”
He squeezed my shoulders. “It’s a good ass.”
“I’m very proud of it,” I agreed.
“You wear those,” he said. “Get some boots from Sandy. The ones Helena uses for her Nine Inch Nails routine.” He stepped back and turned toward the closet again. “And you could wear….” He shoved more hangers aside. “This.” He held it up.
It was a corset, though it looked like it was cut for a man. It was black with a thick strap that went over the shoulder. There was a zipper up the front, with silver studs on either side. Designs had been cut into the leather, lines arcing and swirling. It looked like something a background actor would wear on Game of Thrones. It was strangely exciting.
“You could wear something underneath if you wanted,” Charlie said. “It’s cut so it’ll cover your nipples if you decided not to. It should fit you enough that the top of your chest and back will be exposed, as well a little bit of your hips, especially if you wear those pants. And no hat. That hair of yours is too nice to be covered up.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slow. “Okay.”