“Having fun?” he asked innocently.
“Wait until it’s your turn,” I snapped at him. “I’m going to put this fucking thing in you and take you to goddamn church, just you wait.”
The bouncer in front of the door stared at us.
I coughed. “I love God.”
He nodded slowly as he opened the door.
I could feel Jeremy’s eyes on my ass as we walked back up the stairs, and I made sure to give him a good show. He was muttering threats against my person under his breath, and I laughed as I pushed open the door at the top of the stairs.
I was about to say something to push him further over the edge (“This is egg-zactly what you deserve!”) when the words died on my tongue.
Because there I stood, a vibrator quaking in my ass, looking into the Queen’s Lair at Paul and Darren and Helena and Vince and Charlie.
And also Nana and Matty and Larry and Robert.
“Oh fuck,” I squeaked.
“Yeah,” Jeremy said, coming up behind me. “That’s the idea. Just think of what’s going to happen when I push it up to a seven. You’re going to fucking come in your—Dad?”
“Jeremy,” Robert said cheerfully. “Charlie told me you were here, but I couldn’t see you down on the floor. I saw Corey, though.” He grinned at me. “You looked like you were having fun. And with so many half-dressed men. I approve.”
“Can you give us a moment?” I asked. And without waiting for a response, I turned away from them. Jeremy had a stupid look on his face, mouth agape, my phone still in his hand. “Turn it off. Turn it off!”
His mouth snapped closed as he looked down at his hand. “Oh my god, you have a sex toy in your ass and my dad is here!”
“Would you just fucking—” I grabbed the phone from his hand and brushed my thumb against the slider, bringing it all the way back down to zero. The vibrations ceased immediately.
I turned back around and smiled at everyone. They were still staring at us. “Well, isn’t this a surprise! I didn’t know you were all going to be here. And on tonight of all nights! I feel like this is something I should have known.”
“I needed a night out,” Nana said. “It’s a hard-knock life, and I could use a break every now and then.” She frowned at me. “Are you all right? You’re sweating profusely.”
“Right?” Helena said. “I thought the same thing.”
“Oh dear,” Matty said, coming toward me. She reached up and pressed her hand against my forehead. “You do feel warm. Are you coming down with something?”
I pulled my head away from her hand. “Just dancing. It gets hot down there.”
“Especially surrounded by all those men,” Larry said, looking down on the dance floor. “They looked like they wanted to get fresh with you. Is that what you kids call it? Getting fresh?”
“That’s exactly what we call it,” Helena said as Darren handed her a water bottle. “Corey was getting absolutely fresh with the Dairy Queens. Seems like he forgot what happened to Brian.”
“Was that the man who Sandy slept with and he ate all the bacon when Vince proposed to Paul?” Matty asked.
“I feel like there’s a story there,” Robert said to Charlie.
“You have no idea,” Charlie muttered.
“Come sit down,” Matty said, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me farther into the Lair. There was an empty stool next to Nana, and she shoved me down onto it. I yelped as the egg shifted just right.
“See?” Vince said, sounding concerned. “You’re hurt. I knew it. What did you do?”
“Maybe you just need another massage,” Nana said, taking my phone from me. “I’ll see if I can find a Groupon again. We can both be sugar babies this time.”
I was about to demand my phone back when Larry appeared in front of me, handing me a bottle of water. “Here. Drink this. Can’t have you getting sick. School starts soon, and you need to be in tip-top shape.”
I was about to protest when he tipped the bottle toward my mouth. I was forced to drink so it didn’t spill all over me.