“You’re not funny,” I said as I scowled at Helena.
“Darling,” Helena purred, “I am hysterical.”
“I’m not wearing this.”
She slunk closer, hips rolling. “Really? You know what I think?”
“I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I care what you think right now.”
“Oooh,” Corey said, hands folded under his chin as his eyes flickered back and forth between us.
“I think,” Helena said, “that you will wear this and be happy about it. Because I made this for you with my bare hands. My gorgeous and perfectly manicured bare hands. Do you know how hard it was for me to get those beautiful penises onto that thing? Nana had to show me how to iron those things on.”
“You had my grandmother iron dicks onto my bachelor party sash,” I said, not even surprised anymore about the words that came out of my mouth.
“She volunteered her services,” Helena said. “And since she survived Vietnam, I figure this is the best way to honor her.”
“She wasn’t in Vietnam!”
“Yes, but she was alive during that time. Ergo, she survived it. Have a heart, Paul. Your own grandmother just wants you to wear the black cocks. How can you say no to that?”
“Oh my God,” I muttered.
“It?
??s amazing,” she agreed. “Now, we’ll pregame here—oh just listen to me talking like a homo jock, can you imagine—and by pregame, I mean two shots apiece, and then our ride will be here to take us to our next destination.”
“Which you won’t tell me a thing about.”
“Of course not,” she said. “I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise.”
“And you won’t tell me where Vince is.”
She leaned over and placed a sticky kiss on my cheek. “He’s in good hands, baby doll. You know I would never let Darren have anything… untoward happen to your fiancé. He knows what the consequences would be.”
“For what it’s worth, Paul,” Corey said. “I think you look cute.”
“Shut up, Corey,” I said. “Also, I really like your hair. It looks amazing.”
“Thank you!” he said, preening. “It feels a lot lighter now, and it works when I need to be Kori.”
I saw Helena’s gaze harden a little at that, and I’m sure mine did too. Whenever Corey was Kori, it was usually because she felt like it. Sometimes, though, we thought she slipped into Kori to protect herself from something that she didn’t want to talk about. We pushed, but barely, because she would clam up almost immediately. I wasn’t transgender, so I didn’t necessarily understand what being Kori meant to them. I think Sandy maybe got it a little better, given that she had a tendency to use Helena as a shield. But I didn’t think it was quite the same. Helena was a persona for Sandy. Corey was Kori was Corey. Being bigender was part of who they were, and I loved all their parts equally. All of us did, and anyone that gave them shit for anything would find a drag queen’s spiked heel up their urethra. This was 2016. There was absolutely no need for anyone to demean someone who was transgender. And if there were a need, if someone thought they could say something rude or transphobic, they would immediately find themselves on their back with a foot on their throats. You didn’t fuck with Corey. You didn’t fuck with Kori.
(They could take care of themselves, they liked to remind us, but it never hurt to have the queen of queens, the homo jocks, and an angry fat guy at your back. We might have been a motley crew, but we could fuck some shit up if needed. Eyes would be scratched out and shins kicked, that’s for damn sure.)
So there was a difference, at times, when she was Kori and needed to be Kori. I knew there were people who didn’t understand gender fluidity, that it almost sounded like Corey and Kori were crazy, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. And I didn’t think it had to do with body dysphoria, where they were uncomfortable being male or uncomfortable being female. They identified how they were, which is why it was fluid. I didn’t think they would want to transition, but even if that were the case, nothing would change.
We’d keep an eye on them. It might have just been something as simple as stress from school.
“It looks amazing no matter what,” Helena said. “Julio did an amazing job. You’re welcome for the recommendation.”
Corey rolled his eyes. “Bitch, please. I knew about him before you ever did.”
“That’s true,” Helena said. “But we’re going to pretend it’s not. We also need to convince Paul to go to him from now on too.”
“There is nothing wrong with my hair,” I said, running my fingers through it even as Helena batted my hands away to reset the tiara.
“You go to a place that charges ten dollars to cut your hair,” Helena said. “There is something wrong with your hair, even if we can’t see it.”