“I got you, baby doll,” she said.
I got out behind her, unable to resist smacking her ass.
I had entered the limo as Paul Auster, insurance claims adjuster, fiancé of Vince Taylor.
I exited as a sex machine.
I pulled myself to my full height. Everyone standing around me got the most lethal weapon in my sexy arsenal: finger guns while I bit my bottom lip, sucking it between my teeth. Mom and Dad were grinning at me. Corey was eyeing me as if he’d never seen me before (and probably thinking about how he wanted to tap that). Helena was rolling her eyes, and Nana was shedding her hat and jacket, wearing a purple muumuu underneath that had mine and Vince’s faces ironed onto it.
I cocked the tiara at an angle on my head so people would know who they were dealing with now.
I looked up to see where we were and was surprised to find the entrance to Jack It in front of us.
Charlie stood by the front door. He was dressed in a pair of leather pants and a leather vest, his boots newly shined. His arms still looked strong as he crossed them over his chest, and he was intimidating as all fuck. He held a slim piece of black material in his hand.
“Daddy,” I said, slinking in his direction. I thought he was trying to fight off a smile, and it looked like he was losing badly.
“Boy,” he said. “Jager?”
“So much,” I agreed. “I’m not even trying to fight it anymore. Just gonna let it happen. It is happening.”
“You need to put this on,” he said, holding up the little black slip. It was an eye mask, the elastic band swaying in the breeze. “And no peeking. God help you if you peek.”
“Kinky,” I said. “Are you going to spank me?”
“Do I need to?” he asked me, cocking an eyebrow.
“Sexy Paul doesn’t have time for spanking,” I said, words a little slurred. “He’s gotta go in and meet his adoring public. Maybe later after he gets done doing the Macarena. You know, like all the sexy people do.”
“Third person,” Corey breathed behind me. “It’s real. It’s happening and it’s all real.”
“Yep,” Helena said. “We’re in full Sexy Paul mode now. Sexy Paul, put on the blindfold. Don’t you sass me now, you hear?”
“My sunglasses stay on.”
“Take them off.”
“Helena.”
“Paul, I will fucking cut you if you don’t take these things off right this minute.”
“Eep,” I said, because even Sexy Paul knew not to fuck with a drag queen when she started to get snarly.
I took off my glasses and threw them down the street. They landed near a cracked-out-looking homeless man pushing a shopping cart. He bent down, picked them up, and crowed, “All right! Sunglasses coming down from the sky! Everything’s coming up Dave!” He put them on and started whistling as he pushed his cart down the sidewalk.
“It’s okay,” I said. “I got them at the dollar store. Ironically, they were two dollars.”
Helena snagged the blindfold from Daddy before I could react and slipped it over my eyes. “I already know where we are,” I said as she snapped the band around the back of my head. “I don’t know why you’re trying to keep it a secret now.”
“Oh wow,” Helena said. “Thanks for pointing that out. I didn’t even realize. Shut up.”
“I’m too sexy for my shirt,” I told her.
“I have no one but myself to blame for that, either,” she said. “Now, you stay right here with Charlie until he tells you otherwise, understand?”
“I might get mauled,” I said. “People walking by, wanting to tap dat ass. You better hurry.” I gave a little shake of dat ass, just to stress my point. I almost fell down.
“Oh now,” Helena said. “I’m so worried about you getting dat ass tapped. I should run as fast as I can.”