I put the phone on speaker and bit my thumbnail as it began to ring.
After the fifth ring, he answered, voice annoyed and muffled. “Sandy, I swear to god, you better be on fire if you’re calling me this late. It’s two in the goddamn morn—”
“Maybe I am!”
“Are you?”
“No, of course not. That’d be ridiculous.”
“Sandy.”
“Paul,” I said. “This is a surprise.”
“Uh. No. It isn’t. You called me.”
“Oh. Is that right? I guess I did. Ha-ha. How about that.”
“What’s up?”
“Nothing much. What’s up with you?”
Corey snorted and I had to fight the urge to smack him upside the head.
“Are you high?” Paul asked.
“What?”
“Are you high?”
“That was one time and we were nineteen and you swore you’d never bring that up again.”
“So you’re not going to cry and tell me you’re stoned but that you love me more than anything else in the world and that you wish we were both princesses who lived in a castle made of clouds and good dreams and were serviced by Latinos with bronzed skin and names like Esteban and Jorge Lopez Santiago?”
“Oh my god,” Corey laughed. “This is so amazing. I love everything about this. Please, continue.”
“Corey, is he stoned?”
Corey leaned forward until his face was inches from my own. “No. It doesn’t look like it. Though, he does have some bags under his—”
“I will see you as a homeless street urchin if you finish that sentence,” I growled at him.
“He looks luminous,” Corey said instead. “Vibrant. Not tired at all. He would get carded trying to see an R-rated movie.”
“Good boy.”
Paul sighed. I heard mumbling in the background. “No, it’s Sandy and Corey. Apparently, Sandy is having one of his moments.”
“And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“Hi, Sandy and Corey,” Vince said, voice sleep-rough.
“Hi, Vince,” Corey said.
So I squeaked, “Meep,” because I had sucked Vince’s cock. In my dreams.
“What the hell was that noise?” Paul asked. “Sandy, did you buy one of those hairless cats and it’s now dying in your arms?”
“Yes,” I said, trying to save face. “Its name is Wrinkles McSkin and it’s dying and it’s moist and that’s the only reason I called.”