“Careful, there,” I murmured. “Wouldn’t want to see your aunt’s asshole.”
Paul might have pulled the zipper a little too tightly then.
“Oops,” he said cheerily. “That was my bad.”
The boots came last, chunky red things, cut low across the ankle so the vinyl leggings could stretch over the top. I stepped into each of them carefully and Paul bent down to one knee, clasping the silver buckles that ran up the front. I reached down and ran my fingers through his hair. “Just where I like you,” I said. “My little pet.”
He rolled his eyes as he stood back up. “Been there, done that.” His lips quirked slightly as he looked up at me.
“We did, didn’t we?” I said. “And then you found yourself a big, strong man and left me all by myself. What’s a girl to do?”
“Maybe find your own big, strong man,” Kori said, fixing her hair in the mirror on Vaguyna’s vanity. “Speaking of, I could have sworn I saw Darren downstairs. But then, he’s always here around this time, isn’t he? I wonder what that’s all about.”
I stiffened slightly. It meant absolutely nothing, I knew, aside from the fact that Darren apparently was put on this earth to annoy the fuck out of me. Granted, it was a freaking free country and he could go where he pleased, but I would rather him have been anywhere else but here. Like hell. Or the moon. Where he would quickly asphyxiate and the world would be rid of him once and for all.
Paul snorted. “Of course he’s here. Helena’s performing. He’s always here when Helena’s performing.”
“Not always,” I snapped, trying to not let it throw me. “He wasn’t here on Wednesday.”
“Yeah, he was,” Paul said. “I pointed him out and you told me it was rude to point out dog shit when in the presence of a lady as refined as yourself.”
“Last Saturday, then.”
“Standing against the wall,” Vince reminded me. “You were doing your slutty Disney Princess routine and almost kneed him in the balls while singing a dirty version of ‘I’ll Make a Man Out of You’ from Mulan.”
“That’s one of my better numbers,” I mused. “I’m a man playing a woman dressing like a man. It’s like the Inception of drag-queening. And I wasn’t trying to knee him in the balls. It’s not my fault if his balls were that close to my knees. Really, he should be more considerate.”
“Right,” Paul said dryly. “I’ll make sure to tell him you were talking about where to put his balls.”
“And I will fuck you up with my knife,” I told him sweetly.
“You don’t have a knife.”
“It’s the thought that counts.” I nudged Kori lightly and bent over to make sure everything looked perfect in the mirror. “Fine, so he shows up here every now and then. It’s not like I care either way. He’s free to do what he wants. Or who he wants, the slut.”
“Pot, kettle,” Kori muttered.
I flashed a dangerous smile at her. “What was that, now?”
She rolled her eyes. “What was the guy’s name last weekend?”
I shrugged. “Thai Phan? No. Maurice. Hmm. Something exotic.”
“Because Maurice is exotic,” Paul said. “And very close to Thai Phan.”
“It could be.” I bared my teeth to make sure they were free from lipstick.
“And the weekend before that?” Kori asked.
“Oh,” I said. “That was the weekend I had Mexican.”
“Like, a burrito?” Vince asked.
“Almost as big,” I agreed.
“I don’t get it,” Vince said.
“It’s okay,” I said. “I did. Several times.”