“Has it ever worked?” Kori asked, sounding amused.
“In the years that I’ve known Sandy? Seventeen times.”
“Stand up and face me like a man!”
“Said the drag queen,” Vince said. “Which is awesome.”
Paul stood up, which I gave him credit for. Most people don’t want to come face to face with a raging queen. It usually ended in running mascara, torn acrylic nails, and glitter in odd places. “Why are you pissed?” he asked.
“Because!” I said shrilly.
“Because….”
“You were standing next to that… that… man.”
“Oh boy.”
“And you invited him to brunch. Paul, brunch is a sacred institution with limited invites, as you are well aware. The fact that I already allowed this mistake to happen once with no repercussions is obviously as much my fault as it is yours. I have failed you as a best friend, and I’m sorry. I should have been quicker to punish you so such things would never happen again.”
“I literally have no idea where you’re going with this,” Paul said.
“I think this is how her sex dream started,” Vince whispered to Kori. “Because Helena had a sex dream about me.”
“I know, Vince,” Kori said. “I was there, remember?”
Vince shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t remember much about that night because I’d been asleep and then Paul gave me a really sloppy blow job afterward.”
“Vince!” Paul snapped. “Oversharing!”
Vince pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. “It was sloppy. And awesome.”
“Thank you, baby.”
Vince grinned.
“Does he have a gag reflex?” Kori whispered.
“Used to.” Vince waggled his eyebrows.
“Huh,” I said begrudgingly. “Impressive.”
Paul shrugged. “I’m good like that.”
“You know what else you’re good for?”
“What?”
“Nothing,” I snarled at him.
“Ooh.” He rolled his eyes. “Well played.”
“Paul!”
“Helena!”
“I don’t want him there!”
“You made that pretty clear when you threw his money back at his feet,” Paul said. “Which, honestly, was bitchy. Even for you.”