The Queen & the Homo Jock King (At First Sight 2)
Page 231
“So you’ve said.”
“There never was.”
“Does he know that?”
“He does. Almost from the very beginning.”
“The texts. On your phone.”
He let out a slow breath. “So that’s what it was. I should have known it—”
“I didn’t mean to snoop,” I admitted. “I was picking up your phone to move it and I saw his name come up on the screen and before I knew what I was doing, I was reading the messages.”
“So instead of asking me about them you… what. Assumed something and tried to push me away?” I could tell he was frustrated, and while I could admit that was mostly my doing, he wasn’t completely blameless, either.
“You’d never given me a reason to trust you,” I said stiffly. “In fact, you did quite the opposite.”
He laughed, but the edges were bitter, rough. “And that’s on me. I know that. I was stupid. I was young and cocky and so goddamned immature. I fucked up. I’m sorry. No one should ever be made to feel less than they are, and I’ve hated myself every day since that moment.”
“Why?”
“Did I do it?”
“Yeah.” I finally looked up at him in the mirror, only to see him looking sad, arms crossed protectively over his chest. He was staring down at the floor, shoulders slumped.
“Because I was an asshole,” he finally said. “Still am, if we’re being honest.”
“We are,” I said. “Because that’s all that will be acceptable from here on out.”
He nodded, but still didn’t look up. “I thought I was better than everyone else. I thought I was the motherfucking shit. I thought I could get away with doing whatever I wanted to whoever I wanted. I liked you, but the only way I knew how to show that was to be a dick. That, and the fact I was with the other homo jocks, it just snowballed from there. I thought I was being funny.”
“You weren’t.”
“I know that,” he said. “The moment the words left my mouth, I knew that.”
“You made me feel like I was worthless.”
His arms tightened around him.
“You made me feel like I was nothing.”
His shoulders tensed.
“I accept your apology.”
He looked up, eyes wide and shocked. “What?”
I shrugged. “I forgive you for being a dickbag.” I was surprised how easy it was.
“Why?”
“Would you prefer I didn’t?”
“No,” he said hastily. “No, that’s perfectly fine. That’s better than fine. That’s… that’s good.”
I snorted, trying to ignore my happily fluttering heart because as much as I wanted to believe, I was not a Disney Princess, for fuck’s sake. If anything, I was the evil queen, but even evil queens should get their happily-ever-after butt sex.
“The texts?”