I knew what he meant. What had happened to set this one off? The doctor had told us if we talked about it afterward, it helped to take away its power. Quack psychobabble bullshit, honestly.
But I did it anyway. I always did. “Julie. That day she came back.”
Bear sighed. “You know it can’t happen now, right?”
“Yeah.”
“You know she’s long gone.”
“Yeah.” I did. And I didn’t. Panic disorder doesn’t always allow rational thought. Though, being on the far side of it, I always wondered how I ever got there in the first place.
“You have class?”
“In a bit.”
“Maybe you should take the day off.”
“I have labs.”
“If you’re sure.”
“I am. Bear?”
“Yeah?”
“I want this to stop. So bad.”
“I know, Kid. I know you do. And one day, it even might. But if it doesn’t, then you call me and I’ll make it go away.”
“Promise?”
No hesitation. “Promise. We’ll get through this. We will.”
It was only then I became acutely aware that I was having a Touching Hallmark Family Moment brought to you by my older brother while a complete stranger held my phone to my ear. Neat.
“I gotta go,” I said as my face burned.
As I pulled my head away from the phone, I heard Bear shout, “Whoever your friend is, he sure sounds cute!” Quite loudly. For all to hear. Within four city blocks.
That fucking jerk.
I looked down at my hands.
“You know,” said the guy next to me (because it was a guy, I could tell that now, even if I wasn’t looking up at him), “he’s quite right. I am pretty cute.” He pressed the phone into my hands and I saw dark skin, felt the scrape of thin, soft fingers against mine.
“You okay now?”
“Yes,” I mumbled.
“What’s wrong with you?” Very blunt. I would learn soon that that was his way.
I scowled. “Nothing’s wrong with me.”
“Of course not.” I could hear the amusement in his voice. “You just looked like you were about to die. Or something.”
“I wasn’t dying.”
“Oh. You just crazy, then?”