“What are you doing here?” I grumble as he crosses his arms across his chest.
He looks surprised. “I told you I was coming here when you got off. I said I was going to pick up something for din—”
“Otter?” a voice says from behind him.
God hates me.
He turns and sees Anna standing near the doorway. I can’t see his reaction, but he doesn’t hesitate as he moves forward to pick her up in a hug. She smiles but not before she glances at me over his shoulder. Much is said in this look, but I can’t read any of it. I wonder, not for the first time, what Anna knows, or at the very least what she thinks she knows. I try not to shudder at the thought.
“How’re you?” he asks Anna, and I groan inwardly. How do you think she is! I want to scream at him. We broke up, like, three days ago because of you! Think for one fucking second!
She surprises me when she says, “I’m fine,” and she sounds like she means it. She steals another look at me, and I turn my gaze to the wall, which has suddenly become very interesting. “What are you doing here?” she asks Otter.
He shrugs. “Just thought I’d stop by. I was in the neighborhood and wanted to pick up some food. I think I’ve eaten everything in the house.”
She laughs and I cringe. “That’s cool,” she tells him. “It’s good to see you, Otter. I’m glad you decided to stick around for a while this time. Have you thought about how long you’re going to stay?”
He shakes his head. “I hadn’t really thought about it.” He glances over his shoulder at me. It’s a quick look, lasting no more than a second. A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it kind of thing. “I guess I’ll stay as long as I’m wanted.”
Anna squints up at him ever so subtly. “We always want you around, Otter. Isn’t that right, Bear?”
I mumble something to the effect.
“Forgive him,” she says to Otter. “He’s been locked up in this office all night, trying to avoid me.”
“I’m not avoiding you,” I bark at her. “I’ve had work to do.”
She grins sweetly at me. “Sure you have.” Otter glances back and forth between the two of us and arches his eyebrow. I try to keep myself from reaching out and pummeling the both of them.
“Do you have plans tonight?” Anna asks Otter. “Maybe we could get coffee or something when I get off of work. You know, catch up for old time’s sake.”
“Rain check?” he asks her. “I’ve got some… stuff to do. But definitely sometime soon, though, okay?”
She smiles again and nods. “Of course.” She glances at me again. “Bear, aren’t you off now? Why don’t you keep Otter company while he shops?” My hand is on the stapler, and I’m getting ready to chuck it at one of them (I don’t care who it hits) when she gives Otter another hug and turns and walks away. Otter watches her go for a moment and then turns back to me.
“Bear, put down the stapler before you hurt yourself,” he says, eyeing my raised arm.
“ANNA seems… good,” Otter says as we carry the groceries up the stairs.
I fumble with my keys as I try to open the door. “I guess so,” I grumble back to him. I find the right key and open the door, flipping on the light to the living room. He walks in and sets the bags on the table and then turns to me and takes the bags from my arms and puts them beside his. He then pulls me into his arms, and I try not to protest too much. I lay my head on his shoulder and sag against him. He puts one hand on my lower back and the other wraps around my shoulders. I feel safe when I’m with him like this, but this is something I won’t tell him as I can barely say it to myself. It is a foreign feeling to be able to be so conflicted about something, but that discord seems to go away as soon as I’m resting comfortably on him. We’ve only been doing whatever it is we’re doing for a few days now, but it doesn’t matter. I feel safe.
He pulls back slightly. “How’re you doing?” he asks me.
“Truthfully?” I ask, and he nods. “It’s been a very weird day.”
“Is this the first time you’ve seen Anna since you guys broke up?”
I nod and pull away. I sit down wearily at the table. “I think she knows,” I say quietly.
“Knows what?” he asks as he starts to put the groceries away.
I hesitate. I hadn’t meant to say this out loud. I hadn’t meant to bring this up at all, but the thought has been dancing around my head since I saw her earlier today. I had barricaded myself in the office to avoid her, but not because I thought she could glean anything from my face. I did it because I know Anna can read me better than almost anyone. I hid from her so I wouldn’t have to look at her looking at me.
I sigh. “Knows about… this,” I say spreading my arms. “I think she knows about… us.”
He pauses and then pulls a can out and sets in on the counter and turns to face me, crossing his arms. “Why do you think that, Bear?” he asks, his face kind and thoughtful.
I shrug. “Just some things she’s said,” I grumble.