“So now you need to find a way to make Otter happy again, and at the same time, make you happy and also make sure it’s a happiness that will last until you are ready to admit the truth to people who probably will only be mad because you’ve kept it from them for so long. And with this, you also want to find out what it would take for you to be ready to tell people about you, but you need to grasp why you are so freaked out about it in the first place, because eventually, you do want people to know about you and Otter, but only for the simple reason that you want Otter and yourself to be able to go about your lives without having to worry about what secrets you keep and who knows them.” He stops and takes a deep breath. “Does that about cover it?”
I nod weakly.
The Kid sighs. “Bear, it’s pretty obvious.”
I startle. “It is?”
He shakes his head. “I can’t believe that you’ve been stewing over this for the past two days and haven’t come to the conclusion yet. I’ve listened to you for the last twenty minutes and even I know what you need to do.”
“What!” I almost shout. “Tell me what I need to do!”
“You want Otter to be with you, right?”
I grimace, but agree.
“And you want him to be happy?
“Right.”
“And you want to be able to do something for him that will let him know how you feel about him?”
“Yes!” I say, practically panting.
“And if I tell you what it is you need to do, you’re not going to question it but do what I say because deep down you’ll know I am right!”
“I swear to God, Ty!”
The Kid looks me squarely in the eye. “You need to tell him that you love him. You’ve never told him that before. You need to have him stand in front of you, and you need to tell him how much you love him and that you don’t know what you’d do without him.”
“Well, I don’t know about that,” I say, hedging.
“Bear!” the wannabe ecoterrorist shouts at me. “You just swore. To God. You can’t tell a little kid that you swear to God over something and then not do it. You may effectively ruin my childhood.” He looks off into nothing, a wistful expression on his face. “Gosh, think of the therapy bills. Not to mention how I’ll probably never be able to have a normal relationship when I’m an adult. I’ll live with you forever and become a cat lady.”
I cock an eyebrow at him. “You hate cats.”
He rolls his eyes. “Well, yeah, now I do. But I won’t have a choice. It’ll be inevitable. And I’ll probably have to throw birthday parties for my feline companions where I bake them cakes out of Fancy Feast. All because you went back on your God swear.”
My hands feel sweaty as I rub them together. “Ty,” I say, “I can’t just have him come over and say ‘Hey, Thanks for coming. Can I take your coat? Oh, by the way, I love you, so please don’t be mad at me anymore’.” I shake my head. “That sounds retarded.”
“Well, duh,” the Kid says, sounding like a kid. “You’ve got to do something special for him. My Lord, Bear, don’t you know anything about romance? You’ve had a girlfriend and a boyfriend; you think you would have learned something.”
“I know romance,” I retort. “I can be… like that if I wanted to.”
The Kid sits back in his chair, his MEAT ISN’T NEAT shirt riding up on his side. “Okay, then,” he says as he makes a face, “if you’re such a passionate person, then why don’t you tell me what you think you should do?” He folds his hands on his stomach and smirks at me.
“Fine,” I say vehemently. “I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’m going to…. Okay, wait a minute. Okay, no, that’s lame. I could—wait, no, I think that’s illegal in this state. I could… make… him something?” I finish, looking up at the Kid, who waves his hand, motioning for me to go on. “I could… make him dinner? And… there could be… candles?” He nods, waving his hand again. “And, we could… do… something else? Jesus, Ty, I’m not some kind of machine! I can’t think of something right on the spot.”
He shakes his head. “Bear, you’re so lucky you have me,” he says seriously.
“I know,” I reassure him.
He leans back in his chair, and I am amused at his lordly mien as he presides over the future of my so-called love life. He doesn’t speak right away, and it gives me a moment to mull over the position I’m finding myself in now. If someone had told me a few years ago that I would sitting on the floor of this apartment waiting for the Kid to figure out the greatest way for me to tell my best friend’s brother that I love him, I would have thought that person had a hardcore crack addiction. There’s a nervous jitter running through me, an anticipatory buzz at what the Kid and I are planning. Am I really going to tell Otter that I love him? I think. Is that even going to fix anything? I notice with trace amusement that I never question the fact of whether if I do love him or not. Well, at least that’s settled, I think wryly.
Ty’s eyes light up, and he sits up straight in the chair and claps his hands together. “I know what to do!” he exclaims. “Bear, you are going to owe me so bad after this!”
“What!” I say, excited and terrified all at the same time.
“Okay, so you said that you wanted to make Otter dinner, right?”