He snorts and gently nips my stomach, making me squirm. “Keep telling yourself that,” he says. “All I know is, anytime any part of my mouth is on any part of your body, you make the face.” He shows me it again, rolling his eyes back in his head and opening his mouth, tongue hanging out as he pants. I laugh and smack him upside the head with a pillow.
“Whatever,” I say, grinning at him. “If you think I do that because it’s a good thing, you’re wrong. That’s my bored face. I wish you could do this whole sex thing better. Jesus Christ, Otter, you’re the gay one here; I would think you would know how to please another guy.”
His eyes sparkle mischievously, and he lowers his lips down to my stomach again, and I think he is going to lick in that one place, and I prepare myself to not make the face (the face being, of course, the slack-jawed, pinnacle of ecstasy that he sends me shooting to) when he presses his lips against my stomach and blows as hard as he can. The farting noise rips through the room, and all my senses explode at once, and before I can stop myself, I shriek like a girl and try to bat him off of me. His arms wrap around me as he holds me down, and I can feel him grinning into my torso as he does it again. Bastard.
Finally he rolls off of me and lies on his back, throwing an arm over his eyes as he sighs contentedly. That lopsided grin that I’ve come to yearn for adorns his face. As I stare down at him, Creed’s words from weeks before come into my head: That guy wears his heart on his sleeve. He couldn’t have been more right about that. When Otter’s upset or down, you can see it in his eyes. When he’s happy, it’s like being on the fucking moon. And when that happiness is directed toward me… well, let’s just say I know that I’m going to be making the face at some point in the near future. I chuckle softly to myself.
Otter raises his forearm off his face and raises an eyebrow at me. I shake my head and move to my place on his shoulder. He grunts appreciatively and wraps his arms around me and pulls me in closer.
“That’s bullshit, you know,” he says, his voice muffled against my hair.
“What is?”
“You’ve made that face for damn near three months now. You did it the first time, and you’ve done it since. I know what I’m doing.”
I roll my eyes and decide to concede. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine, big man. You win this one.” I pinch his nipple gently, and he hisses softly and arches into it. “You give mean head.”
“Damn right I do,” he grumbles, clasping my hand against his chest.
We lay there for a while longer, not speaking, the late-morning August sun pouring in through the window. Nearly three months, I think, amused. Has it really been that long already? I chide myself playfully, knowing I sound like a thirteen-year-old in his first relationship. These three months have been three months longer than I thought anything like this would last. Since our huge blowup in his backyard, Otter and I have fallen into a wonderful understanding, an understanding that is allowing both us to look tentatively to the future. I’ve started looking into what it will take for me to get back into school. A few weeks ago, Otter picked up his camera again and started taking pictures. He even went out and bought the Kid a camera of his own, and those two have been going at it like fiends. The Kid is actually pretty good, much to Otter’s chagrin.
It’s funny to me, looking back where I was a year ago, compared to where I am now. Everything has changed, almost all of it for the better. For the first time in a very long time, I’m content with not knowing what tomorrow could bring. Granted, I still have the worries that come with being a twentysomething brother/parent, and the questions about who I really am, but those don’t seem to be as big a deal as they used to be. It has gotten me thinking lately, that if things can be this good, that if I can be this happy, then why should I have to hide this anymore? Why should this have to be a secret from those that love me most? That’s why I’ve made the decision I have, the decision I have yet to tell Otter. Well, no time like the present.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hey, yourself,” Otter says back.
“I want to tell Creed.” His hand, which up until a second ago had been playing lazily with my hair, freezes. I feel his chest rise as he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Otter then rolls on his side, laying me gently on the pillow next to him. He puts his forehead against mine and gazes into my eyes, searching for any validity to what I’ve just said. I grin shyly at him, and he smiles back, and I can feel his warm breath upon my face.
“You sure?” he asks, his eyes hoping.
I nod slowly. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. I told myself I needed to tell him about us before he leaves. The party he’s throwing is what… nine days away? And he leaves two days after that?” Otter nods. “So that gives me just under two weeks to be able to get my nerve up.”
Otter’s hand comes up and strokes my cheek softly. “You sure you want to do this, Bear? You know I’m not forcing you to do this, right? I want this to be your decision, and I would support you either way.”
“I know,” I tell him, and I do. Otter has been true to his word. And it makes me feel better to know that he realizes that it’s not just necessarily about us, that it’s primarily about me. Yes, Otter’s my boyfriend and Creed’s older brother, but Creed is going to have to be faced with the fact that his best friend just happens to like dick. And not just any dick, but the dick belonging to his brother. This conversation could go in so many different directions that I’ve found it easier to try and not think about that part.
Otter grins his grin and kisses me on the lips. “Bear McKenna, you’ve just made my day.”
I smirk at him. “I thought I made your day when I let you fuck me for the last two hours.”
His grin becomes evil, and he rolls back on top of me, deepening his kisses as he rubs his body up and down mine. His lips leave mine, and he kisses my jaw up to my ear, and then his tongue does this little swirl thing, and my toes curl and I groan softly. He chuckles into my ear and does it again. Then his tongue is gone, replaced by his lips that whisper, “God, I hope you know how much I love you.”
“I do,” I gasp as he kisses down my neck.
Much to my annoyance, he stops his trek and stares down at me. “Do you want me to be there when you tell him?”
I think for a moment and then shake my head. “I think it would be better if it were just him and me. I don’t know how well this is going to go, and I don’t need you there, threatening to kick his ass if he reacts badly.”
“I’d murder him if he said anything stupid,” Otter agrees. “But I really don’t think he’s going to care all that much. It may very well be the only thing he’s pissed off about is not finding this out earlier.”
I nod. “I’ve thought of that, and if I’m lucky, that’s the only thing he’ll be mad at me for. That’s the only thing that would justify any anger. I still can’t help but feel like I’m going to be walking into a lion’s den with this.”
Otter kisses my forehead. “You don’t worry about a thing. God forbid if it shouldn’t go well, but just remember that he is going to be going back to school in a couple weeks. If he is truly upset about all this, at least you two will have space to be able to work that out. It’s probably best that you waited to tell him until now.”
“Yeah?” I ask. “I thought so too. As a matter of fact”—I glance over at the clock on the nightstand—“where is he right now?”
Otter’s eyes widen slightly. “Now? You want to do it now?”