Who We Are (The Seafare Chronicles 2)

I don’t want him to know. I don’t want him to know that she’s so close, that she fucking gave up her family so she could go have another. It’ll kill him.

He’s strong, but this will kill him.”

“Bear, if she decides to fight your petition, you won’t have a choice,”

Erica tells me patiently. “He’ll find out anyway.”

“No,” I snapped. “It’s not going to come to that. She’s not going to come back in some fucking last-ditch effort to get him away from me. If she wanted to do this, she’d have made good on her threat months ago. She’s not coming back. Fuck her.”

“You can’t know that,” Erica argued. “Not yet. While it’s good you believe that, you have to prepare for every eventuality, Bear. I know it sucks, believe me, and I was dreading this conversation for the last few hours. But what good would it do either of you if he had to find out from someone else? That we’re in court one day and she walks in? Bear, he’d need to hear it from you first. He needs to know so he doesn’t find out you’ve kept it from him down the road.”

“Erica, I know you mean well,” Otter said, “and I know you’ve got Bear and the Kid’s best interest in mind, but I’m inclined to agree with Bear on this. In the end, it is our decision, not yours. If we decide to keep this to ourselves for now, I’d hope you would respect that decision and not make this any more difficult than it already is.”

She sighed in frustration. “I just hope there isn’t a time in the future when I get to say I told you so. But honestly? My gut feeling says that she’s not going to respond. I do believe she’d have done so by now. Other than her little stunt in August, she’s made no other attempt to reach you in the last three years.”

“And we still have no idea how the hell she knew all that she did,” I said, feeling the oncoming rush of a headache. “It still freaks me out that she knew so fucking much about me and Otter. That’s the only thing I want answered.”

Something crossed Otter’s eyes right then, something that caused his mouth to open like he was going to speak, but he seemed to change his mind. I looked at him questioningly, but he just shook his head.

“And we’ve looked into your information, Bear. No one has tried to access your credit rating, made any inquiries through the HR office at the grocery store. I don’t think she hired someone to dig up information on you, because that would leave a trail. I’m as frustrated as you are on that end. I wish I had more answers, but if you haven’t spoken with any of her acquaintances and told them all about yourself, then I just don’t know.”

“Did she seem… happy?” I asked, hating myself for even caring. Otter leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

Erica laughed quietly. “It was just the process server that saw her, Bear.

I don’t think he cared one way or another about her happiness. Most of them don’t. Does that bother you? If she was?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Bear, if there’s one thing I could tell you to remember, it’s this: whatever she’s got, it’s nothing compared to what you have. You have a family that loves you, a partner that thinks you walk on water, and a little brother who thinks you’re the greatest thing to have ever existed. That’s what is important. Do me a favor and remember that, okay?”

“I’ll make sure to remind him daily,” Otter promised, grinning wickedly at me.

I rolled my eyes at him, but even he could see I felt a bit lighter. “How long?” I asked. “How long does she have to respond?”

“Ninety days, which will put it around sometime in mid-January.”

“See?” Otter told me. “Even more to celebrate then.”

“What’s that?” Erica asked.

“My birthday’s on January 22. If we get the Kid then, it’ll be the best present, and I couldn’t ask for more.”

“The countdown begins, then!” Erica said cheerfully. “We’ll all go out for dinner and celebrate because that should be the last big hurdle we’ll face in this. Georgia’s reports have been glowing, and the therapist said he feels both you and Ty have benefited in the couple of months you’ve been in to see him. We can almost see the finish line, Bear. You’ve almost made it.”

I almost told her that’s when most people trip and fall, but quickly decided against it. Apparently, I was turning into an eternal optimist. Pretty soon, everything would have been sunshine and roses.

“Sure,” was my reply.

“Please let me know if you have any other questions, then, guys, and I’ll let you know if anything else comes up in the meantime.”

Then she was gone.

Otter turned the phone off and pulled me into him again, ignoring my protestations, ignoring how I told him I was fine, that I was okay, that I didn’t need to be comforted right then, that it didn’t matter. She didn’t matter. But he would have none of it, and eventually, I sank down into his embrace and allowed him to take away all the hurt and pain because he knew I was not fine, I was not okay. There was a turmoil there, that old anger sparking with new fire, burning bright with indignation.

A daughter? I thought wildly. She has a fucking daughter. I have a little sister. The Kid is now a middle child. She has a new family that she’s kept, that she’s keeping, at least for now. Isabelle. Does she love her? Does she look down into the baby’s eyes and see herself reflected back? What does she think about the little life she holds in her hands?

I couldn’t wrap my mind around it, how she could so easily walk away from her sons but hold onto her daughter. It would have been easy for her to give her up for adoption, and I couldn’t understand why she didn’t.