“Thanks. You Tyson’s brother? Bear? You guys are having twins?”
“Yeah. That’s us.”
“Great to meet you, and good for you. Sorry for interrupting. Just wanted you all to know that Kori is full of shit, and she’s pining for her teacher.”
“Good to meet you too.”
“Later,” he says, pulling away from the screen. I hear him hollering at something called Wheels for crapping all over Sandy’s floor, and how is he supposed to go get sweaty on a stupid bike ride with that smell in his nose?
“He seems nice,” I say.
“Oh thank god,” Ty says, sighing in relief.
“That was it?” Kori demands. “I have been waiting years for this moment, and that was it?”
“What is she talking about?” I ask Otter.
“I have no idea,” Otter says.
“You ruin things,” Kori hisses at me. “Tyson! Take me away from their faces. I no longer wish to gaze upon them! Oh, and I’m so happy for you guys. You’re going to be awesome dads. Now get out of my sight! Otter, I love you and your biceps.”
“We love you too,” Otter says. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
“Never,” she says, grinning wickedly.
“So wrong,” Tyson groans, lifting the laptop up off the table. “Why do you have to do that?”
“Don’t forget you’re with Izzie today,” I call after him as he leaves the kitchen.
“I know. It’s why I’m here instead of still in bed with my boyfriend like a normal person!”
“Mouthy little fucker, isn’t he?” Creed says fondly.
“Yeah,” JJ says. “He is a mouthy little fucker.”
Creed sighs. “Okay, what do I have to buy you to make sure you never tell your mom about that?”
“A shark!” JJ shouts.
“This is what you have to look forward to,” Creed tells us. “Just so you know, this is going to
be your life. Except your kids are going to have some freaky murderous twin language, and you’ll wake up in the middle of the night, years down the road, with both of them standing above you holding pairs of scissors in their hands.”
“Please don’t scare my husband,” Otter says.
“Freaky murderous twin language?” I say, voice high-pitched.
“My job here is done,” Creed announces. “And don’t worry about the baby shower. I’ll plan it. It’ll be awesome.”
“Otter, we have to hide all the scissors!”
Otter lays his head down on the table.
“I’m getting a shark, and he’s going to eat everyone!” JJ crows.
“Buyah!” AJ screams as he throws a Cheerio that somehow lands on my cheek.
“I love you guys,” Creed says.