“And I did,” he agrees. “Best decision I’ve ever made.”
“I still have that letter.”
He laughs, sounding a little startled. He knows what I’m talking about. “You do? Still?”
I lay my head on his shoulder. “Still. It’s in the drawer in the nightstand next to the bed. The paper is yellowed. It’s a little ripped, and the edges are curled, but yeah. It’s there.”
“Huh,” he says. “How about that.”
“It’s part of us.”
“I guess it is. Remember when you threw it at me?”
“We were sitting in your car. In the rain.”
He rubs his chin against the top of my head. “You were so mad at me, and I was just damn happy to even be near you again. That you saw me. Really saw me. You hated me a little, but I was going to take everything I could.”
“I didn’t hate you, Otter. Even when I was at my angriest, I never hated you. I don’t think I ever could.”
He loosens his hold on my hand, bringing his big arm up and around my shoulders, pulling me close. My forehead is pressed against his neck as I watch Marty and Megan walk farther down the hall, Megan laughing at something Marty has whispered in her ear.
“I was happy,” he says quietly. “I told myself it was enough, and I think it would have been. You were scared and angry, but it was enough. It would have been enough.”
“But it didn’t turn out that way.”
“No,” he says. “It didn’t. And I’m okay with that.”
“Just okay?” I tease.
“Maybe a little more than okay. You kissed me and let me love you, and even with everything, all of the good and all of the bad, I wouldn’t change a single thing about this. All that we’ve done has led to this, Bear. You know? This has made us who we are.”
“And who are we?”
“Do you see that lady down there?”
I do. She’s beautiful, and she’s giving us the greatest gift.
“We’re you and me,” he says, pressing a kiss into my hair. “Bear and Otter. There’s a Kid in the waiting room that we did a damn good job with. There’s a little girl who found her way home to us. There’s our family who would do anything to make sure we’re happy. And there’s that lady, that weird, funny lady who just fits like she’s always been a part of us. Marty too.”
“Let’s not go that far,” I grumble.
He chuckles and jostles me a little. “You know they’re here to stay, right?”
“The thought crossed my mind.”
“Ty told me something once. About him and Dom. He said he thought they were inevitable. And that got me thinking for a long time. To him, even when he was at his worst, some small part of him thought that he and Dom would always be. I don’t know if it works like that always. It did for him… but it’s—I don’t think that about us.”
“You don’t?”
I feel him shake his head. “No. Because we’ve fought tooth and nail for this. We’ve clawed our way through everything slung at us. I don’t think all of this was inevitable. I think we’ve earned this. We’ve earned this because we made this. This is who we are, okay? We have built this life, built this family, and in a little while, there are going to be two more that we get, and sometimes I can’t even breathe with how thankful I am for that. You’ve given me this, Bear. This life. This chance. Everything. You’ve given me everything, and I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”
But that’s not right, is it? Because all I ever did was love him with my whole heart. I would do anything for Otter. I tell him as much, and he laughs wetly. “I know, Papa Bear. And I know you don’t see it like I do, but that’s how I feel.”
“You don’t need to repay me for anything. We did this together.”
“Yeah,” he says. “Okay. Together. We’re gonna be dads, huh?”
“Looks like. Probably a little late to back out now.”