We have loved.
We have lost.
But we’re standing. For all that we are, we’re still standing.
I TOLD my brother that I wasn’t going to embarrass him in my best man speech. Even though I have so many stories that I could tell all of you. Like that time he wrote a love letter to Anderson Cooper when he was ten, convinced that they were going to get married—okay! Okay. I won’t tell them the rest. Stop glaring at me. Jesus Christ. Anyway, I told him I wasn’t going to embarrass him, so I suppose I’ll stick to that promise. And I also promised to keep this short and sweet, since apparently I’m known to ramble, which I disagree with completely. But I digress.
I—sorry. Didn’t think I’d get choked up this quickly. Um. There’s something you should know about my brother and me. We—things weren’t so good for us. When we were younger. We had… we didn’t have the best life. Things happened that don’t need to be delved into here, but I… I remember once, he couldn’t have been more than seven or eight, when I’d come home from a late shift working at the grocery store. I was tired and sad and hoping the overtime I’d been working would be enough to cover that month’s rent. I was too proud to ask for help, telling myself that I could do it on my own. I was stupid, but that’s… that’s how it was for me.
I came home, and Mrs. Paquinn… she, well. She told me to get some rest, and that Joseph, her husband, God love him, used to work too hard and not sleep enough, and she wouldn’t have that for me. She kissed me on the cheek and went next door to her own apartment.
Ty, he was—he was still awake. When I went to our room. And I remember looking at him when he smiled at me, telling me all about his day, and I was so sad because I wanted nothing more than to make sure everything would be okay for him, that he’d be the happiest Kid who ever lived, but I wasn’t sure that I could do it. And I don’t remember how it happened, but he must have seen something on my face because he stood up on his bed and jumped on me, wrapping his legs around my waist, his hands going into my hair like he always did. He was babbling in my ear, and he told me that everything was going to be okay, because we were together. That we would always be together, and even though we could be sad sometimes, we had to remember that.
And I—I did. I remembered that. When I got sad. I remembered that we were together. And I tell you this because of how remarkable he was, even back then. I would not be here today without him. He is my brother, and I am so happy to be able to see him marry the love of his life. Dom, you’ve always been a part of us, but now you’re my brother too. Thank you, and I know you’ll have the happiest of endings.
And Ty—I… we’re together. I’ve never forgotten that, okay? We’re together. You and me. I love you, Kid.
Ugh. Now that I’ve cried in front of all of you people, a toast, if you could all raise your glasses. To the happy couple. May Dom and Tyson know joy for the rest of their days. The road ahead may be long and winding, but as long as you remember to love each other with your whole hearts, I know it’ll be a journey worth taking.
Epilogue: Or, Otter’s Perspective, As It Were
(So Long, My Old Friends)
Twelve Years Later
“YOU GUYS ready?” I call up the stairs.
When I get an affirmative from three separate voices, I walk into the kitchen. Bear’s on the phone, sounding a little frantic as he empties the dishwasher.
“Creed, I don’t care why JJ thinks eating pot brownies makes him smarter. He is not allowed to give Lily weed for her birthday, no matter what she says. He knows I—well. I didn’t say I didn’t want it for my birthday. No. I take that back. I am fifty years old. You are not going to peer pressure me into this. I will just get drunk off wine like a normal adult. We have a cop in this family. Do you know how embarrassing that would be to get arrested? Right. Again. How embarrassing it would be to get arrested again. That time wasn’t my fault. I would throw those lemon bars at that homophobic PTA mom again if I had to. She had it coming, and her lemon bars were dry. And I know pot is legal here, but do you really think Dom gives two shits about that?”
Sometimes, it’s better not to ask.
Other times, you have to bail your husband out of jail while his little brother’s husband grins at you smugly.
Life is strange sometimes.
Good, but strange.
“Creed, I’ll be over in a bit. I gotta say goodbye to Otter and the kids before I head out. Tell Anna that I—no, Creed. JJ is not allowed to date Izzie. She’s—she lives on the other side of the country. JJ lives in your basement. She’s not going to—oh my god, we’ll talk about this later. Goodbye, Creed.”
Bear hangs up the phone, glaring down at the silverware in his hand before he drops it into the open drawer.
We’re older now. The both of us. The lines around his eyes are pronounced, and he’s got streaks of gray in his hair that Ty gives him so much grief over. He doesn’t move as quickly as he used to, and I still think he’s too thin, but he’s still got that fire in his eyes, his mind still moving almost quicker than I can keep up with.
To me, he’s perfect.
He always has been.
“Trouble in paradise?” I ask lightly.
He looks up at me and scowls. “Your nephew asked if he could give Lily pot for her birthday. Pot, Otter. Marijuana. Because apparently she asked for it.”
“This isn’t going to go well, is it?”
“You’re damn right it’s not,” Bear says, eyes flashing. “There’s going to be some words. You can bet your ass on that.”
“Or,” I tell him, “You can go do your guy’s day with Creed, and I’ll do lunch with the kids and get a