“What the hell was that?” Gary demanded from behind me.
I took a step away from Ryan, his hands falling from my face. “That was me becoming a wizard much quicker than I was supposed to.” I shook my head. “What the Great White did to me, it—I’m not unstable, but it’s….”
“Big,” Tiggy said. “Sam has big magic. Big big.”
“Big big,” I agreed. “Everything I am, everything I’ve become, it’s big big. Bigger than any one person has had before. Add the dragons to that mix and I’m a little… volatile. It’s hard being back here. Surrounded by people I don’t trust. Not you guys,” I added quickly, before they could protest. “Just… everyone else. You say they believe in me. Fine. Okay. But I don’t believe in them. Not yet. Especially Lady Tina. I don’t know if I ever will. And you can’t blame me for that.”
“Are you in control?” Gary asked.
I shrugged. “Mostly.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”
“Oh. Sorry. Uh. Yes. Totes in control. I got this, dude.”
“Feel a little worse now. What the hell did he do to you?”
Ah, and wasn’t that the thing. I could still hear his voice in my head, whispering to me, telling me that there was a very real chance I would not survive. You are strong, he’d said. Stronger than I’ve ever seen. But you have months to learn what should take a wizard decades. There is a chance of death. And if not death, then madness. We will find out just how lightning-struck your heart actually is, and if it’s capable of being torn into pieces.
“What he had to,” I said, sure that any answer I was willing to give would be unsatisfactory.
“Kevin’s eyes go all black,” Tiggy said thoughtfully. “With your big big.”
“Yeah,” I said scratching the back of my head. “They tend to do that.”
“Others too?”
“Yeah.”
He frowned before tapping the side of his head. “You hear them? In head?”
I squinted at him. “How’d you know that?”
“Like before. Zero. Pat and Leslie in the snow. All the time now?”
“No. Just….”
“With the big big.”
“Yeah. With the big big.”
“Your head should be your own,” he said, and showed me that no matter how long I’d known him, he could still surprise me. “Think for yourself.”
“You are the best half-giant alive,” I said in awe.
He preened.
“But you’ll still help them,” Ryan said, because apparently he was still stuck on that. “The people. Even if you don’t believe in them.”
I snorted. “Well, yeah. I’m not that big of an asshole. And I have faith in you. If you put yours in them, then I guess I can trust that.”
Ryan looked relieved. “And Lady Tina?”
“You know, your crush on her is really starting to concern me.”
“Sam.”
I scowled at him. “Don’t push your luck, Foxheart.”