“I don’t get weird,” Ryan snapped out the side of his mouth, gaze still trained on GW.
“A cornerstone,” GW scoffed derisively. “A waste.”
“Oh man,” I bre
athed. “You shouldn’t have said that. You’re so dead, and you don’t even know it yet. Ryan! Stab him in the eye and show him no one talks about my cornerstone that way!”
“I can’t stab him,” Ryan said frantically. “He’s the Great White!”
“You most certainly can stab him.”
“You did such a wonderful job with your apprentice,” Randall said to GW. “Really. You must be so proud.”
“He came to me like this,” GW snapped. “So any fault rests firmly on those who held his stewardship before me. Like you, for one.”
“You’re lucky my hip aches today. Otherwise I’d have half a mind to give you the business end of my business.”
“Your hip?” GW snorted. “I’m surprised you’re even still standing with how brittle your bones must be.”
“I noticed your left hand is curling in, and you favored it while landing. Arthritis is such an awful thing. I’m glad you have it.”
“Defend my honor!” I demanded.
“You defend your honor,” Ryan said. “You’re the one who can do magic. I just have a sword.”
“Yeah, but you always brag how big it is!”
“Do you have any understanding just how large that dragon is?”
“Say something. He hates cornerstones. You’re a cornerstone. Ergo, he hates you. You need to show him how wrong he is and how cool you are.”
“Yes, please,” Gary said gleefully. “Ryan, do show the biggest dragon in the world just how cool you are.”
“But I thought Knight Delicious Face not cool?” Tiggy whispered.
“Oh, he’s not,” Gary whispered back. “I just want to see what happens.”
“I’ll defend your honor,” Dimitri said, fluttering up around my face. His little penis was eye level, and I couldn’t not stare at it.
“I think you mean something entirely different than what I’m asking for,” I told him.
“Probably. Still. Shall I?”
“You shall not.”
“Old people are the worst,” Zero moaned. “Gods, why can’t there be someone normal here?”
“I pretty normal,” Tiggy told him. “I have brooms.”
“I feel like I need to be doing something with my horn,” Gary said to no one in particular. “Does anyone require any assistance involving my horn?”
“I could use a good buggering,” Kevin said.
“They grow up so fast,” Leslie said fondly.
“Good,” Pat said. “Then maybe we can leave and go home and never have to deal with any of them ever again.”
“I regret everything about you,” GW growled at Randall.