“You there!” one of the Dark wizards cried. “Stop where you are!”
“Maybe I want to stop where I’m not,” Kevin said.
“Kevin!”
“What. You know I don’t like being told what to—oh. Right. The plan.” He winked down at me. “Daddy’s got you.”
“Is that what it would have taken?” Dimitri asked me stiffly. “Daddy play? Because I can do that. In case you can’t tell, I do have a mustache. There’s nothing more daddy than having a mustache.”
“Stop hitting on him or I’m going to punch you with my finger,” Ryan snapped at him.
“Hello there!” I called out to the Darks, desperately trying to retain control of the situation, because this was the stupidest idea I’d ever had. “Do you know who I am?”
The Darks looked at each other before they all shrugged. “Is your name John?”
I gaped at them.
“Not John, then,” another Dark said. “To be fair, he doesn’t really look like a John. More of a Terrance.”
“Terrance,” a third Dark scoffed. “You think everyone looks like a Terrance, only because your name is Terrance. Just because that’s a terrible wizard name doesn’t mean you need to foist your insecurities on the rest of us.” He scoffed. “Terrance.”
“Aw,” Terrance said, looking down and kicking at the dirt.
“I’ll be honest,” I said, “my ego took a little hit that they don’t know who I am. I mean, I know I shouldn’t let things like that affect me, but it really does.”
“You’re still wearing your hood,” Gary said. “They probably can’t see your face. Also, you egotistical whore.”
I pulled back my hood, revealing myself.
The Dark wizards gasped and took a step back.
“Aha!” I said. “That’s better. Though you would think the unicorn, half-giant, and dragon would have given me away.”
“What about me?” Ryan asked, brow furrowed.
“You’re a knight,” I told him, patting him on his metal shoulder. “You all look the same.”
“Ha,” Kevin said. “That’s so true.”
Ryan sighed.
“It’s Sam of Dragons!” one of the Darks cried. “Sound the alarm!”
“Wait!”
They all looked at me.
“Huh,” I said. “I didn’t think that would work. You’re legitimately waiting.”
“Focus,” Dimitri hissed at me.
“Oh. Right. Hello! Yes, hi. You are correct, it is I. Sam of Dragons. But I am not here for the reason you think.”
“You’re not here to try and destroy the Darks, rescue the people of the City of Lockes, and defeat Myrin as the prophecy foretold?” Terrance asked.
Godsdamn Terrance. “No,” I said as evenly as possible. “I’m not.”
“What?” Kevin said, overloud. “Why, whatever do you mean, Sam? I thought that’s the exact reason we came here. To destroy the Darks, rescue people, and defeat Myrin. You are the chosen one, after all.”