I glared at him. “Look, just because you love me so much that you pulled me from the brink does not mean you get to—what in the fucking fuck is that!”
Sometimes in life, you see something so ridiculous that it immediately defies all logic and causes all the synapses in your brain to misfire at the same time. These moments are extraordinarily rare, and once seen, can never be unseen.
This was one of those moments.
Because above us, running on a bridge made of rainbows shooting from his horn, was Gary.
With Randall riding on his back.
And Tiggy.
Riding on Kevin.
“This might be the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen,” I breathed fervently.
The rainbow bridge began to spiral downward toward us, Gary running along it. There was a possibility that he was singing. Randall looked ill and annoyed. Kevin was spouting something undoubtedly overtly sexual toward his husband, and Tiggy was just screaming, “GWAAAAHHH.”
“I love them so hard,” I told Ryan.
“I don’t know why stuff like this still surprises me,” he said with a sigh.
The rainbow slammed into the ground moments before Gary’s hooves hit the stone of the alleyway. “Did you see that shit?” he demanded.
“Well,” I said faintly. “I do have eyes.”
“You’re damn right you have eyes. Not that you are going to have them for very much longer because I am going to stab them out of your face, you little bitch. How dare you have a secret plan behind my back to make me think you’d actually turned evil and then killed Ryan, only to bring him back to life in a plot so ridiculous, your brain should be studied long after you’re dead to figure out why it’s so deranged.” His eyes filled with tears as Randall slid from his back, muttering that he wanted no part of this.
“Oh no,” I said.
“Oh yes!” he wailed. “Do you know how much you’ve aged me in the last four hours? Do you know what wrinkles look like on a unicorn, Sam? Do you? Because if you did, then you would realize the extent of your betrayal.”
“We crying?” Tiggy asked, bottom lip wobbling as he jumped down from Kevin’s back.
“No,” I said, voice breaking. “Okay, maybe.”
And then I burst into tears, because if you can’t have a good cry with your best friends after saving the world, then when can you?
Tiggy wrapped Gary and me up in his arms, holding us close as we blubbered all over each other.
“Ow,” I sobbed at Gary. “Your horn just poked me in the cheek.”
“You deserve it,” he cried. “You know what? I’m going to make a secret plan of my own about something and only tell Tiggy!”
“I’ll tell you,” Tiggy told me, great tears dripping down his cheeks. “I’ll tell you, Sam.”
“What’s going on?” Kevin asked from somewhere behind us. “Why are they crying?”
“You should know by now that it’s better not to ask,” Randall said. “Besides, if we ignore it, it’ll be over quicker.”
“I’m sorry!” I wailed. “I just thought if you knew, you’d never let me go through with it.”
“You’re damn right we wouldn’t have,” Gary snapped, eyes suddenly dry. “Because it was stupid, just like you! What the hell were you thinking?”
“Hey! It worked!”
He blinked. “It did? Oh. Well, then.” He pulled away from Tiggy’s arms. “That’s good. Now that that’s over with, can we please talk about me? Did you see me running on a rainbow?”
“I did,” I assured him, patting Tiggy on the arm as I stepped away. “You’re the most preposterous thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”