I nodded. “Yeah, man. Of course it is. We’re pack.”
“Bennetts.”
“It’s more than that.” I paused. “Can I tell you something?”
“Yes.”
I bumped my shoulder against his. “It’s a little loud for me too.”
“It is?”
“I’ve been gone for a long time. And I was by myself for most of it. I never… I never had that before.” I heard my mother singing in the kitchen, and I could barely focus. “Even when I was away for school, I could always pick up the phone and hear their voices or drive for an hour and be
back here.”
“Good or bad?” he asked.
“It just was. I was in my own head. And that wasn’t so good because I started not to trust what I was seeing or hearing. But I learned how far I could go, how hard I could push myself. I was stretched to my limits, but at least I know what my limits are now.”
He gnawed on his bottom lip as he pulled on the hoodie strings. “For me.”
“What?”
His eyes flashed violet. “You did it for me.”
“I guess I did.” This thing between us was awkward. I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt reckless, out of control. But I didn’t think I wanted it to stop. Thump, thump, thump, and my skin itched, fingers twitching as I stopped myself from taking his hand in mine again. “After what you did for us, I had—”
“For you.”
I blinked.
“For you,” he insisted. He was scowling again, but it wasn’t like it was before. His cheeks were flushed, and he would look at me, then look away. At me, then away. “Helped you. Saved you. Them too, but mostly you. Couldn’t die. Couldn’t watch you die.”
I said, “Okay,” and I wondered if this was a beginning to something I never thought possible. A gift, and one I never thought I needed.
I reached out and took his hand.
He stared down at our hands for a long moment. Then, “I’m hungry.”
I laughed until I could barely breathe.
I LED HIM INTO THE KITCHEN, and Mom stopped singing. She glanced at our joined hands, and though I knew she wanted to say something about it, she didn’t. Instead she said, “There you both are. Come here.”
We went.
We stood before her, and she looked at us both. “Gavin,” she said warmly. “Did you sleep well?”
He shrugged awkwardly before nodding.
“Good. You must be hungry.” She’d heard him, but we all acted like she hadn’t. “Kelly and Joe told me about your little cabin. It sounds lovely.”
That was not the word I would’ve used, but I knew what she was doing.
“Small,” Gavin muttered. “Not like here.”
“I don’t suppose it was,” she said easily. “However, it’s not about the size of something, but what you do with it.” She blinked. “Oh dear. I think that’s another conversation entirely.”
“Mom.”