“And some already had their minds made up,” Mark said. “Regardless of what else happened, they saw Michelle as their Alpha, the man known as Ezra her witch.”
Kelly didn’t like that. “They should have known better. They saw what he did to Dale, even if they say they didn’t. He had some control over them, and they claim it’s all hazy, like they couldn’t wake up.”
I said, “You don’t believe them.”
He hesitated before shaking his head. “I think they allowed him to do what he wanted and used the excuse of what he did to Robbie as their own. At least the ones who left were honest about it.”
Gavin grabbed the back of my shirt. He didn’t speak. I leaned back slightly, pressing into his hand to let him know I felt him. “Gordo told me about the raven.”
Joe closed his eyes as he leaned back into his chair. “Yeah. That was… I don’t even know what that was.”
“We should have expected it,” Gordo said. “Thomas knew, but not the extent of it or what it meant. He was working off an assumption.” He tilted his head toward Gavin. “Seemed he had a few of those.”
“Did you know about Gavin?” I asked my mother. “Where he went? What Grandad did? That Dad knew where he was?”
“No,” Mom said quietly. “I didn’t. At least not that Thomas went to him. If I’d known, I would have…. I knew your father better than anyone here. Everything he did, he did for a reason, even if the meanings behind his actions are lost to us. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust us. I think it was more that he wanted to keep us safe.”
I felt anger rising from the pit of my stomach, a low thrum that I couldn’t stop. “Because that’s all that mattered to him. Pack. Always pack. He didn’t care who he hurt in the process. Gordo. Mark. Gavin.”
Joe’s eyes flashed open. His eyes were red. “He did the best he could.”
“Did he?” I asked. “Yeah, he was right about Gordo’s tattoos, but did that really mean he needed to leave him behind? And then he went to Gavin, knowing who he was and where he was, and told him about wolves. Witches. Magic. And for what? To tease him with a life he’d never have and just… leave him where he was?”
Gavin whined lowly behind me. It made me want to kill something. I hated that sound coming from him.
“He did what he thought was right,” Mom said quietly. “He made mistakes, some more egregious than others. But you have to remember that he wasn’t much older than Joe when he was made Alpha after Abel was murdered.”
“A circle,” Mark said, shaking his head. “We’re stuck. It’s all happened before, and it’ll all happen again.”
“Unless we break it,” Ox said, and we all looked to him. He still stared out the window, hands behind him.
“How?” I demanded. “Don’t get me wrong here. You came for me, and I couldn’t be more grateful. But we took away the one thing keeping Livingstone in place.”
“What would you have had us do?” Ox asked calmly, and I wanted to shake him, to get him to look at me and fucking deal with this. He was all about the Zen Alpha bullshit, but I needed his fire. I needed him to be as angry as I was. “Leave you where you
were? According to you, Livingstone was feeding off Gavin somehow. What if that had killed him?”
“I’m not—”
“You didn’t trust me enough to help you.”
I stopped cold. “That’s not…. Ox.”
He shook his head. “You decided to take matters into your own hands. You left us all because you thought it was the right thing to do. That if you could find Gavin on your own, the rest of us would be safe. Is that right?”
My mouth felt dry. He was still serene but there was more to it now, an undercurrent that pulled at me. I didn’t want it as much as I had only a moment before. He could be scary when he wanted to be. “That’s… yeah. I guess it is.”
“So, like your father, you made a choice. I thought at first it was a selfish one, that you were only thinking about yourself. But that didn’t last because that’s not who you are. I know you, Carter. I know you very well. You would lay down your life for anyone in this pack without question. Once I remembered that, I had to look elsewhere. Do you know what I found?”
I couldn’t speak. I felt ashamed that I could think so little of him, even if only for a moment.
“I found that you were as you always are. You carry the burden of your name as the oldest son to a king and queen.” He turned his head to look at me. His dark eyes held no hint of red or violet. “I had time to think about all of this. How we came to be here. All that we’ve lost.” He glanced at Gavin, still hiding behind me, before settling his gaze on me again. “I found that we fight because if we don’t, no one else will. Some of the people in Caswell may not like Joe. But they still look to us to save them. Is it fair? No. But how can we turn them away?” And then he said, “Gavin. I recognize you. It took me a long time after Caswell to figure out why, but then it hit me. You came to Green Creek once. You were part of the group of Omegas that took Jessie all those years ago.”
All the air was sucked from the room. Mark frowned as he sat forward in his chair. “You what?”
Ox turned around fully, arms across his chest. I stepped back into Gavin without thinking, like I was shielding him from Ox. “He didn’t—”
Ox held up his hand. “I’m not accusing him of anything. It’s a statement of fact. He was here.” Ox tilted his head at me. “And you know that too, don’t you?”