My reflex was to cower before him. I didn’t. I squared my shoulders. “How would you feel if it was Joe?” I glanced at Kelly. “Or Robbie? Or Gordo? Would you be so willing to let them throw away their lives?”
“No one is suggesting that,” Joe said. His mouth was in a thin line.
“Better not,” I said coldly. “Because if I hear it again, we’re going to have a problem. I get that there’s a greater good here. I do. But he’s a person, a flesh and blood person, and you don’t get to make that decision for him.”
“What about what he wants?” Gordo asked.
“Of course he would do it,” I snarled at him. My heart was pounding, a thin sheen of sweat on my forehead. I curled my hands into fists, the tips of my claws pricking my palms. “He would do anything for us”—for me, though the implication was clear—“even if that meant sacrificing himself. That’s not the point. Hasn’t he already been through enough?”
Gordo threw up his hands. “Haven’t we all?”
“He’s your brother.”
Gordo stood from his chair, knocking Mark away when he tried to stop him. He stood before me, his chest bumping mine. His tattoos shone. “I know that,” he growled at me. “And it kills me to even suggest such a thing. But we have to think, Carter. We have to use our heads.”
I shoved him away. “Fuck you. Fuck all of you if you think—”
“Enough.”
Ox’s Alpha voice rolled through us. My skin itched. My fangs poked through my gums. I could feel it coming from him. His anger, though it wasn’t directed at us. And the blue. He was so damn blue I could taste it.
“This isn’t getting us anywhere,” Ox said. “And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let us fall apart again. We need to be united. All of us. Gavin’s not going anywhere.”
“Damn right he’s not—”
“For now,” Ox said. He held up his hand as I started to sputter. “Carter, you’ve protected him for a long time, even when you didn’t know what he was to you. But you need to have faith. In us. In him. He’s not a child. He can speak for himself.”
I hated how my eyes stung, hated how weak it made me look in front of all of them. My chest hitched as I tried to catch my breath. “I know that. But you can’t expect me to just stand aside and let you take him from me.”
Ox softened, the red and violet fading from his eyes. “I don’t expect that at all.” His lips quirked. “I think I’d have a fight on my hands.”
“Fuck yes, you would.”
“Then we’ll find another way. Gordo? Anything?”
He grimaced before shaking his head. “Nothing I could find in Thomas’s or Abel’s books. There might be something in Caswell that I missed, but I wouldn’t count on it. I can’t find any mention of a witch surviving an Alpha bite, even when magic was involved.” He rubbed the scar tissue where the raven had once been. “It’s beyond us, Ox. There’s never been anything like him.”
“He bleeds,” Ox said bluntly. “We’ve seen it. Robbie ripped out his eye. And if he bleeds, he can die.”
“I’ll look again,” Robbie said. “I know those books better than anyone here. When we go back to Caswell, I can check to make sure we haven’t missed anything.” A strange look crossed his face, but it was gone before I could be sure about what I saw. “There might be….”
“What?” Gordo asked.
Robbie shook his head. “I don’t know yet. I’ll let you know when I find out.”
“Good,” Ox said. He hesitated before turning to me. “Carter, I’m not trying to put any pressure on you, okay? Remember that when I ask what I’m about to ask.”
I hung my head. “I know what you’re going to say. I’m… working on it, okay? We both are. But you can’t force something this important. Not like this.” I wiped my eyes. “I don’t even know if he wants… this.” Me. “Would you? I mean, Christ, Ox. Why the hell would you want to attach yourself to a sinking ship?”
“I often say I don’t have idiots for sons, so don’t you dare try and prove me wrong now, even if there’s already enough evidence of that.”
I jerked my head up.
My mother glared at me, her eyes orange.
“Mom, I—”
“Stop,” she snapped. “It’s my turn to talk, do you understand? I don’t want to hear another word out of your mouth until I’ve had my say.”