“Fuck you.” I shoved his chest. He took a stumbling step back. “Where are you going?”
“Not your business,” he snapped. “You don’t own me. I go where I want.”
I could barely think straight. I was so goddamn angry. Bile rose at the back of my throat, and I choked it down. But hidden under the fury like a great, lumbering beast was something bigger.
Fear.
I was scared.
Not of him, but of what he was doing. Of whatever was going on in his head.
I’M SORRY the note said.
“Running away?” I asked, a nasty curl in my voice. “That it? First sign of trouble and you’re running?”
He glared at me but didn’t speak.
“Fucking coward.” I grabbed him by the arm and started pulling him back toward the houses.
“I’m not a coward,” he growled at me, struggling to pull free. My grip was too strong. “Shut up.”
“I don’t want to hear it. What the hell is wrong with you? How could you think this was ever okay? You can’t just—”
“I’m going to him!”
I stopped.
Closed my eyes.
The winter birds sang from the trees. It sounded like a song of sorrow.
I whispered, “What?”
He said, “I’m going to him.”
He said, “Never should have come here.”
He said, “I can stop this.”
He said, “I can stop him.”
He said, “Sacrifice. In the book. It was sacrifice.”
He said, “Doesn’t have to be Ox. Ox is Alpha. Pack needs Alpha.”
He said, “Pack doesn’t need me.”
I turned to look at him. His eyes were wet. His bottom lip was trembling. I said, “No.”
He shook his head. “Carter. Listen, okay? Listen. I can do this. I can end this. I… I can save pack. Good wolf. I can be good wolf. Big and bad but good.”
“No, no, no—”
“Shh,” he said, taking a step toward me. He pressed his finger against my lips. “Shh, Carter. It’s okay. I promise.” He tried to smile, but it broke into pieces. “You know I’m right. You know it. I help pack. Make it better.”
I jerked my head back and whirled around, pulling him toward the houses again.
“Carter, stop.”