“Yes,” Morgan said. “But that doesn’t mean there wasn’t love involved. Because there was. That’s something the Darks can never understand, which is why they have never subscribed to the idea of cornerstones. Their magic is erratic for a reason. They have nothing to build it off of. It’s also why they’re so dangerous. And here you are, wrapped up in five of them in the last week alone.”
“What can I say? They must like me.”
“Sam,” he said in warning.
“I don’t know!”
“It’s about the connection. I said it doesn’t always have to be sexual or romantic and I meant that. Mine… well. She was like me. Asexual. And I loved her very much.”
I held my breath, not wanting to break the moment.
He smiled, and for the first time since I’d known him, I saw a wistful curve to it. “She laughed at me when I told her what she was. What she did for me. I was seventeen at the time. She was almost thirty. An odd pair, we were. But we made it work. She helped me build the foundation I needed, and we were very happy. By the time she passed, my magic was solid and strong. The decades we’d spent together made sure of that.”
I felt the sting of tears at the softness of his voice. “What was her name?” I asked, my voice slightly rough.
“Anya,” he said.
“She sounds wonderful,” I said.
He reached over and patted my hand. “She was.”
“Maybe you could tell me more about her some day?”
“Sure, Sam. I think I’d like that. She would have loved you.”
“It can’t be Ryan,” I said quietly. “It can never be him.”
Morgan cocked his head at me. “And why is that, little one?”
“Because… I just.” I looked away. “It could never be… platonic. With him. From me. I would always… want. And that’s not fair to him. Or me. Because I can’t have that. And I would never do anything to hurt him or Justin.”
He grabbed my hand and held it tightly. “And Todd?”
I shrugged. “He’s nice.”
“And his ears.”
“His ears,” I agreed.
“But?”
“I don’t know. It doesn’t feel the same.”
“You can’t force it.”
“I know.”
“Maybe….”
I looked up at him. “Maybe what?”
“Maybe you need to get out of here for a while,” he said slowly. “Clear your head.”
I laughed. “You’d let me go out? After everything that’s happened in the past few days?”
“You’d have to stay away from the Darks.”
“Yeah. That’s a given.”