He grinned and it was evil. “And how do you even know about the fan clubs?”
ABORT. ABORT. ABORT. Because he didn’t need to know that I went to one once while in disguise. That was just ridiculous. And creepy. “Gods. It’s late. Look at the time. Actually, I can’t because I don’t have my watch. I assume it’s late. So.”
“It’s barely ten.” He took a step toward me.
“Late,” I insisted. “I’m tired. Someone decided to keep me out till the wee hours of the morning last night.”
“You were attacked,” he said,
“by Dark wizards. Again.”
“It doesn’t happen as often as you might think,” I said, taking a step back. “I just have one of those faces that people want to shoot things at.” And I immediately made that dirty in my head.
“That’s one way of putting it.”
“Seriously,” I said, eyes wide. “You’re not even Queen Sass anymore. You’re like the God of Sass. You created all the sass the world knows. Why don’t more people know this? Instead of dashing and immaculate, they should be describing you as sassy and bitchy. I am going to write a letter to the editor first thing in the morning. It must be reported on immediately.”
“Maybe you can bring that up at the next fan club meeting too.”
“Hey! I don’t even know what you’re talking about, okay? I hear things when I’m on my travels. I don’t even care about stuff like that.” I cared so hard. I had actually gone three times to the fan club meeting. They knew me as Mervin. I had a backstory and everything. It was my turn to bring muffins next time. I was considering poppy seed. Or cranberry. Fun.
“So you’re not marrying Todd?” he growled, taking another step toward me. “That’s probably a good thing. He was going to kill you with ducks and blueberries.”
“I’m not. Trust me on that. I like his ears but really, that only goes so far.”
He grimaced. “You and his ears.”
“They stuck out. I thought they were adorable.”
“If that’s your qualifier for a relationship, then you’re screwed.”
“That’s the idea, isn’t it?” I said, trying to grin salaciously. I think I missed the mark and went directly to constipated.
He grunted and closed his eyes. “You can’t say stuff like that.”
“Why not? Gary says I’m a prude. I don’t think I am. I can talk about stuff like that. It’s not that hard. Or. Well. It could be. Ha! See? I just made a sexual pun, and everyone knows that sex puns are the highest form of humor. Fuck you, Gary! Sex and fucking and balls!”
Ryan actually took a step back at that one, which was good because somehow, he’d gotten really close. “Sam,” he hissed.
“Hmmm. Maybe you’re the prude. Dicks and fornication.”
“Sam!” He was turning red again, and my heart.
“What!”
“Don’t marry Todd,” he said. “When you marry, it should be for love. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
And that hit me right in the gut, because it couldn’t possibly be any clearer than that. “Ah,” I said through the blood roaring in my ears as I took a step back. “Congratulations.”
“For what?” He looked confused.
“For marrying Justin. You must love him very much. Right? That’s what you just said.” And I knew he was my cornerstone then because I wanted nothing more than to blow something up with a few choice words, but was able to stop myself. Hurray for personal growth and damning realizations.
He said, “Sam.” It was strained.
“What?”
“I don’t….” He looked away.