“Right,” I said. “Exactly. That’s exactly what happened. Glad you have all of the facts and made a logical conclusion. And you’re right! I love danger. It’s what I do.” I shook my head. “You know, for a moment, it sounded like you were worried about me. Fuck knows why I thought that. After all, I haven’t seen you in what… twelve days? Avoidance much?”
He reeled back as if I’d slapped him. “Sam,” he said hoarsely. “You… I….”
“Don’t bother,” I said, pushing past him. “The King has ordered me to help you find Justin. I’ll do it, because I owe him everything. Not you. Not Justin. The King. Once I do and everything is back to normal in your perfect little life, I’ll be gone.”
I stormed out of the labs, slamming the door behind me.
“OH MY gods, you diva,” Gary said the next morning. “You didn’t.”
I scowled at him and rolled my eyes, shoving another spare tunic into the bundle spread out on my bed.
“You went full-on bitchy and made a dramatic exit?” He sounded way too gleeful over my histrionics. “I have taught you well, my young apprentice.”
“He was being an asshole,” I said. “He deserved it. What a dick knocker. Fucking candy-ass bitch whore.”
“The angrier you are, the less your insults make sense,” Gary observed. “It’s adorable.”
I glared at him. “Go eat a moderately small child and choke on his bones.”
“See? That didn’t even make sense. Why would I eat a child? They’re sticky.”
“I will murder everything you love,” I growled at him.
“That would be suicide,” he said solemnly. “Because I love you.”
I gaped at him.
He laughed at me.
“Cheating,” I muttered.
“Eh, what can you do?”
“I smash him,” Tiggy said from his spot on the floor.
“Tig,” Gary said. “We discussed this. You can’t smash everything.”
“Yes you can,” I said. “You can smash all you want. Smash Gary, then Ryan.”
“I love Gary,” he said. “No Gary smash. And Ryan take your flower. No Ryan smash.”
“He didn’t take my flower! And stop calling it that!”
“Don’t yell at him because you haven’t been penetrated,” Gary said.
I wrinkled my nose. “Okay, time out on the fighting thing. Can we all agree that none of us should ever use the word penetration in that context again?”
“Yeah,” Gary said with a grimace. “I don’t even know why I said that.”
“It gross,” Tiggy said.
“Okay, rule four hundred twenty-seven of the Sam/Gary/Tiggy friendship has been agreed upon. No saying penetration when referring to boning.”
“Aye,” Tiggy and Gary said.
“Okay, time in. I can yell at whoever I want!”
“You really can’t,” Gary said. “It’s unattractive on you. Some people pull off the angry look. You’re not one of them.”