“Tell that to my thighs,” he said.
“I don’t want to tell your thighs anything.”
“Rude. Ryan would talk to my thighs.”
“Not even involved,” Ryan said.
“Can we kick him out of the adventure yet?” Gary asked.
“I smash him?” Tiggy asked.
“No smashing,” Ryan said.
“Maybe later,” I said, distracted. “Time for a course change, boys.”
“Nope,” Ryan said, following my gaze along the river. “Not going to happen.”
I glared at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were in charge here.”
“Funny,” he said. “I didn’t know you were.”
“Oooh,” Gary and Tiggy said.
“I’m the wizard here,” I said.
“Apprentice,” Gary whispered.
“And I’m the Knight Commander,” Ryan said.
“Of the Eighth Battalion,” I reminded him. “Which is the Castle Guard. We are not in the castle. Therefore, you are in charge of nothing.”
“Oh snap,” Tiggy said.
“I taught him to say that,” Gary said fondly.
“Morgan said to stay on the main road,” Ryan said, “for your safety.”
“I can handle myself.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen how you handle yourself,” he muttered. “Works out real well, doesn’t it?” He winced. “Dammit. I’m sorry. That’s not—”
“Go whatever way you want,” I said coolly. “We’re going along the river.”
I turned and walked away. Tiggy and Gary followed. I didn’t look back.
SO OF course it was fairies.
I hated fairies.
One minute I’m cursing Ryan in my head even as he was following us with a kicked puppy look on his face that was not affecting me in the slightest, and the next I felt the whisper of magic that wasn’t my own.
I said, “Oh shit.”
Ryan said, “What?”
Gary said, “Yeah, we’re screwed.”
Tiggy said, “I don’t like this.”