“Koklanaris.”
I smiled, though he couldn’t see it. Most never thought to ask that question, so of course he did. “The day after I brought Tiggy and Gary to the castle, he was arrested and charged with abuse and cruelty to magical creatures. They’re protected, you know. As long as they haven’t hurt anyone else, they’re protected by law. His entire carnival was dismantled, and he’s in a jail in the desert. He’ll be there for a very long time.”
“Because of you,” he said.
“I couldn’t let him get away with what he did. It wasn’t fair, and I wouldn’t allow that to happen to anyone else.” I thought to stop there, but truth for a truth, right? That’s how the game is played. “I almost killed him in that clearing. It was very close. I sent him to jail so I would never have to. If he’s lucky, that’s where he’ll stay. Because if I ever see him again, he won’t be walking away.”
He said, “Sam” like I had achieved something wonderful. Like I had revealed to him a great secret that only he and I would ever know.
And I suppose I did.
So I slept and dreamed of running through the streets of the slums, my heart beating rapidly, my lungs burning. And I laughed because even though I was chased into a blind alley, my cornerstone was there and he’d never let anything hurt me. Because only he could do that, and there, in a world that did not exist, he never would.
RYAN WOKE me a couple of hours before dawn.
He crawled under his blanket as I sat up.
His head was near my knee. Just inches away, really.
He looked up at me. I looked down at him.
Eventually, he closed his eyes.
I wondered at this complex man, this knight from the slums who wanted nothing more than to become something more. I thought it possible that he looked up at the stars and had wished for the same things I did. How funny that our paths crossed as they had. Then and now. And how every time was not the right time, no matter how much I could wish it to be so.
And I told myself we needed to find Justin soon, because I couldn’t have him like this. I couldn’t have him within reach. Not when I would just have to let him go once we got the Prince back. He was in love. And I was not the type of man to ever try and come between something like that. We would get Justin back and they would go back to Castle Lockes and I would go north. There would be a wedding, and I’d send my condolences at missing the ceremony and my congratulations at such a joyous union. I would learn what I needed to learn under Randall. I would come back to the City of Lockes under control and everything would be fine. Everything would be wonderful. Ryan would be happy, and I would be happy for him. This silly crush I’d fostered would be nothing more than a distant memory, and one day I’d find another person meant to be my cornerstone, and any time I passed Ryan in the halls or stood near him in the throne room, I’d smile and he’d smile back. We’d think fleetingly on this little adventure we’d had back in the early days.
And then we’d move on.
Because that is the only thing we could do.
Still.
I had to stop myself from running my fingers through his hair.
I knew now why Morgan had said he feared for my heart.
I did too.
CHAPTER 15
Mama’s
THE CITY of Lockes was the capital of Verania. The King resided in Castle Lockes. For the most part, it was beautiful. The ports were far enough away that the air was clear and fresh. The roads, especially around the castle, were well maintained and landscaped. It was often said the only blight upon the City of Lockes was the slums, that area that stretched along the eastern edge of the city. But for the most part, the City of Lockes was bright and vibrant, a beacon of surety and the Veranian Dream.
Meridian City was the exact opposite.
It was dirt and grime, sex and debauchery. Not one single person in Meridian City could cast a stone, because all were bathed in sin. These were the thieves and the murderers. These were the liars and the cheats. These were the ones who slunk in the dark, just as likely to steal your wallet as to stab you in the kidneys. If you needed to hide from the law, you went to Meridian City. If you wanted to drink and get high and sleep with strangers (usually all in the same place), you went to Meridian City.
The air stank of smoke. There was garbage in the streets. People wandered drunkenly, laughing and screaming. Men fucked whores in alleyways. Women fucked whores in doorways. Madams and pimps prowled the corners, making sure their girls and boys presented themselves as they walked the streets.
It was everything the City of Lockes was not.
And I loved it.
It was rage and base desires. It was anger and sadness and despair and desperation, but it was honest. It beat with a corrupted, diseased heart, but it wore it on its sleeve and made no excuses for what it was. Meridian City was wrong and it knew it.
And there was a time I could have gotten away with entering the city without having to hide my face. But the older I’d gotten, the more my name had been spread and the more recognizable I’d gotten. I didn’t mind, not really, but with the events of the last few weeks, and especially with Ryan at my side, it was going to make it difficult to go see who we needed to see before we went to Old Clearing. I needed information and there was only one person in Meridian City I could get it from.