“No… stone unturned?”
“Nope.” I was able to stop myself before I punched him in the face. Barely.
“When I was little, you know what I wanted to be when I grew up?”
“I don’t care.”
“A stonemason.”
“Oh my gods.”
“When I was a wee slip of a unicorn. I went through a rebellious stage. Got stoned a lot.”
“Gary.”
“Sometimes when you get angry, your face gets stony.”
“Gary.”
“My mother once gave me a piece of advice. She said a rolling stone gathers no moss.”
“Are you done?”
“Yes. No. Wait. Did you hear I was sick last week? I had kidney stones. Okay. Now I’m done.”
I glared at him. He smiled back at me.
We walked on.
“So,” he said less than ten seconds later because he couldn’t drop anything. Ever. “We gonna talk about it?”
“Nope.”
“Like, not at all.”
“Not at all.”
“We gonna talk about how you didn’t tell me?”
“Nope.”
“Huh,” he said. Then, “Well, I’m going to talk about it.”
“I would really rather you didn’t.”
“Of course you would. Because you’re about to feel my wrath.”
“Gross.”
“Not like that! Stop making it weird.”
“I’m talking to a hornless unicorn named Gary. It’s already pretty weird.”
“Point. Now. First things first. When are you going to sink your ass down on his cock?”
I tripped and almost fell.
“Hmm,” Gary said with a frown. “Maybe I should have gone with a different approach.”