“What? Did you think I wouldn’t be? Why the hell would you knock on the door if I wasn’t going to be wearing—never mind. I don’t even want to know.”
He pushed his way past me. “Where’s Ryan?”
“He ordered me to get naked and bathe and then left.”
Gary stared at me some more. Finally, “Today has been a very strange day.”
“I still have an erection because of it,” I admitted.
His lips twitched. “Kitten, some things are obvious.”
I looked down and sure enough, there was my penis, very evident through the trousers. I covered myself with my hands. “Oh my gods,” I muttered. “Get the fuck out! I have sexy orders to follow!”
“Sexy orders?” he repeated.
“Sexy orders,” I agreed. “Though I can’t quite figure out why I need to bathe. Shouldn’t we be already down with the boning?”
“Sam,” Gary said, sounding very patient. “We were just in a battle. You are dirty.”
“So?” I asked. “Why would he care? It’s not like he’s going to….” My eyes went wide.
“There it is,” Gary said.
“He’s going to put his mouth on me!”
“And his tongue,” Gary said.
“Gary!”
“Oh boy.”
I started stripping off my clothes. “He wants some of this!”
Gary closed his eyes. “That may be so, but I don’t want to see it.”
I scowled at him. “I had to listen to you and Kevin role-play naughty unicorn. You can fucking deal.”
Gary sighed, sounding extraordinarily put out, but he followed me into the bathroom anyway.
A servant had already been up ahead of us in the room, and the bathtub was filled with water that still steamed. Violets and lemongrass floated along the surface. I shucked my trousers off and stepped into the water, hissing as it reddened my skin.
“Okay,” I said to Gary. “Advice time.”
“Go,” he said.
“What do I suck on first?” I asked, taking a bar of soap made of goat’s milk and flaxseed oil and rubbing it against my armpits vigorously.
He choked. “I am so not ready for this.”
“It doesn’t matter if you are,” I told him. “This is happening. In less than a day, I’ve gone from being sad and despondent and still pretty awesome to having a super fucking hot boyfriend who is about to ravage me in ways I never thought were possible and you better tell me what I need to suck on!”
“Yikes,” Gary said. “There really is no need to shout.”
“I might be freaking out a bit,” I said.
“No shit.”
“So?” I lathered up the soap in my hands and then scrubbed my feet. I didn’t expect anyone to be licking my toes in the near future, but I didn’t want to rule out the possibility. I didn’t think I quite knew what was considered foreplay and what was considered kink yet. I figured I’d get better with practice, but I didn’t want to make the mistake of saying something like, “Oh, this is nice, now is second base where you eat my feet?”